The Losers

Photo: AllMoviePhoto.com

(Zoe Saldana slings those guns)

Starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada and Jason Patric. Directed by Sylvain White. 98 minutes. PG-13

Imagine you’re an ex-special ops soldier. You’ve been riding the wild nights of Bolivia, while the rest of the world thinks you’re dead. That is until a dark stranger appears. And just like that, you’re hot on the trail of an evil mastermind so powerful, he runs the CIA and so cold, he’ll pop one in your face if he doesn’t like your shirt. But you’re going to show him that you and your men will take him down. Does it help that your name is Roque or Cougar?

The Losers is so badass it hurts. In a good way. Based on the DC Comics series of the same name, the film follows five U.S. Special Forces combatants who’ve been left for dead in the middle of South America by Max (Jason Patric), a man they once trusted. For years, they try blend in with the locals. But then Aisha al-Fadhil (Zoe Saldana) appears out of the shadows and convinces them to chase down their betrayer. And thus begins the badass-ness.

While the beginning of the film is a little disorienting because the story isn’t clear, it throws you right into the action. We’re immediately introduced to our five soldiers playing poker: Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), Roque (Idris Elba), Jensen (Chris Evans), Pooch (Columbus Short) and Cougar (Oscar Jaenada). Yeah, they’re so tough that they gamble with guns and knives.

While it’s hard to take the VP of Dunder Mifflin as the knife-wielding, almost barbaric Roque, at first, it’s even harder to see ghost Denny as baddest of the bunch and leader of the pack, Clay. But after a while, it begins to work. Now the trouble will be seeing them as anything but vengeful warriors. Evans and Jaenada, however, seem immediately perfect for their roles. Jaenada was made for that cowboy hat and that silent mysteriousness, while Evans is the perfect blend of sweetness, cockiness and quirk.

However what remains unbelievable throughout The Losers is the story. But don’t make the mistake that it’s supposed to be believable. Stirred into big explosions are spies, scheming and super ridiculous stunts. Of course, it’s all very exaggerated and unlikely but if you don’t roll with them, then you won’t like the ride. The entire movie is meant to be wildly surreal and succeeds by not crossing the line into the cheesy category. B