Stay Classy: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. Every Friday in Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

  

 Photo: EW.com

(Oh, the Horror!)

Although it houses the best unnecessary holiday of the year, October can be one of the most in-between boring months. But babies, don’t you panic. In the velvet darkness of the blackest October night, burning bright, there's a guiding star. No matter what - or who - you are. And its name is Rocky.

This year marks the 35th anniversary of everyone’s favourite catastrophically camptastic cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. With it's overt sexuality, ripped fishnets and smeared lipstick,  RHPS may not seem like a traditionally 'Classy' act (well, unless you're a Little Monster). But that doesn't make it any less legendary. In fact, it deserves the "classic" title more than most movies its age. While most schlocky 70s flicks died on near-arrival, RHPS has remained one of the most rewatched movies ever.

Over the years, the gender bending musical has captured the horny hearts of generations of wannabes, wallflowers and weirdoes, inspiring thousands upon thousands of midnight re-enactments, flying pieces of toast, newspaper hats and spontaneous “Sluts!” and “Assholes!”  The reason being? It’s basically the midnight movie equivalent of 2009 Christina Aguilera. It just keeps getting better.

For those who have yet to have their RHPS cherry popped, the intentionally wacked-out musical follows a young couple named Brad (Barry Bostowick) and Janet (a way-young Susan Sarandon). The newly engaged prepsters get caught with a flat (how bout that?) and head to a shady nearby castle to use the phone. Little do they know they're about to enter a sublimely supernatural haven of scientific experimentation and sweet Transylvanian  transvestites.

Like Brad and Janet when they enter the cobwebbed corridors of Dr. Frank-N-Furter's (the effortlessly extravagant Tim Curry) science fiction sin bin, when you first watch RHPS, you're bound to be a little weirded out. Some of you might not even get out of that state for the entire film. And let's be frank, a few of you will tune out after the opening number, where a pair of fire truck red lips sing an ode to the divine art of Grindhouse. But if you're open-minded, it will rock your world. Hard.

While Rocky Horror's mucked up story is hella fun to attempt to follow (hello, random pool orgy!), the best part of the hot-ass mess of a movie is definitely its superbly catchy song list, sung to a terribly awesome tee by Curry and co. Aside from the infamous “Time Warp,” which is only really awesome when you’re in a room full of drunk high schoolers who don’t know the words and thus are totally faking the dance moves, every song has its own over-the-top appeal.

Take “Damnit Janet,” which features a chorus of monotone male voices murmuring our secretly horny heroine name while she and her lover burst into a spontaneous love song, for example. Or “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,” which has Janet squealing the most chuckle-worthy innuendos and panting like a rabid dog. Or the self-explanatory-yet-sassy “Sweet Transvestite,” which is bound to have even the most butch boys claiming not to be “much of a man by the light of day.” And oh god, don’t even get me started on Meatloaf’s (yes, that Meatloaf) mega musical contributions.

Rocky Horror can easily be scarfed down with some friends and some super salty corn at in the comfort of your living room, but it’s best served at a rep cinema with a whole bunch of costumed camp lovers and their self-made Rocky screening kits. Whether you’re a virgin or a hard-core veteran, I can guarantee by the end of your nerdy night out you’ll be wishing you could do the Time Warp again (and again).  And with Halloween - a Glee tribute episode - on the horizon, what better time to get acquainted (or re-acquainted) with the good, girdle-loving Dr. and his charmingly prude charges.  Just make sure you have ample space for pelvic thrusts. You'll need it.