Terribly Awesome!: Crossroads

Totally drained after a week of working your ass off for the weekend? Sounds like it's time for a camp-out! And no, we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. (Although, they may very well make questionable individual appearances.) What we're really talking about is getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. Every third Saturday, Emily (our resident camp connoisseur) will lead you through one of the best of the worst movies of all-time. It's gonna be awesome—and terrible!—all at the same time!

Photo: moviegoods.com

If you are a twentysomething mediocre music fan from Toronto, I'm going to bet my bedazzled crop top, you'll be heading to (or wishing you were heading to) the Air Canada Centre this weekend. The artiste formerly known as Mrs. Federline (and occasionally, Miss Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and or Mrs. Oh My God That Britney's Shameless), Britney Spears, is town, and she's ready to hit us former 90s kids with the best of her lipsynced hits - one more time!

Britney has gone through many incarnations throughout the years, both good and bad.  In between the rough, hairless, Cheetoes-filled patches, there have always been awesome, friend of boa constrictor phases and sparkly onesie moments. Although she's looking and doing pretty well at the moment (Femme Fatale is kind of amazing!),  I still like to think of Britney as she was in January 2002, when she was 21 and I was thirteen and the winner of the Toronto Sun's "Biggest Britney Spears Fan" contest (more on that later...). In that moment, the woman who would go on to haunt Brittany S. Pierce's dentist chair dreams seemed so, well, "Lucky." She was a fit, tanned, and slightly slutty hand dance machine, Justin Timberlake's girlfriend and the star of the yet-to-be-released surefire hit film, Crossroads....

Stay Classy: Funny Girl

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. In Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

Photo: Columbia Pictures

FUNNY GIRL

Year released: 1968 

How it fared back then: The famous musical dramedy, which introduced the non-theatre-going public to the ever-amazing Barbra Streisand, pretty much got a standing O from critics and audiences. It was a major hit, inspired a sequel (Funny Lady) and earned eight Oscar noms, including Best Picture, Score and Song. Even those who weren't so sold on the script loved it for Streisand's legendary lead performance. Ebert said the film was "the ultimate example of the roadshow musical gone overboard...over-produced, over-photographed and over-long," but praised Babs to the heavens, saying she was "magnificent" and "more fun to watch than anyone since the young Katharine Hepburn." Later that year, she'd to share the Best Actress statue with Miss Hepburn for the performance. There hasn't been another tie for the title since. She's that good.

Why it's lasted: The songs - "People,""You Are Woman, I Am Man,""Sadie, Sadie" (Married lady!),  my mom's all-time favourite song (she's a lifetime Babs enthusiast), "My Man," and of course, "Funny Girl," just to name a few - are memorable as hell. The story, which follows charmingly self-deprecating young comedienne Fanny Bryce as she tries to make sense of herself, her career and her shameless attraction to an older man and gambling addict, named Nicky Arnstein (Omar Sharif, also known as Dr. Zhivago) in WWI era NYC, remains remarkably relateable. (At least for us sarcastic, non-self-assured underdogs.) The costumes, including the famous leopard print ensemble shown above (and recently recreated by Jen Aniston for Harper's Bazaar's Barbra-inspired shoot) and what may be the most perfect collection hats in the world, are spectacular. And did I mention BARBRA STREISAND? (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, OOH!)

Classic moment: Ever heard of a little ditty called "Don't Rain on My Parade?" Yeah, it's from this. And Babs' big-screen take (she also played Fanny in the original Broadway production), which culminates with her singing her lungs off on the back of a tugboat, remains the absolute best version ever.  Sorry, Rachel Berry.

Does it still hold up? Well, hello (gorgeous)!  Fanny may be (Spoiler alert!) all wrong for the guy, but she'll always be good for a laugh, cry and quality basement belting session. I actually will be shocked if they don't try to do a remake (or at least actually kick start this Broadway revival) soon. I mean, Glee has started to play like Lea Michele's audition tape for it (although there are rumours otherwise). Let's just hope if it does happen, they make like Barbra and her nose, and refuse to change a thing.

Stay Classy: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. In Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY 

Year released: 1971

How it fared back then: In terms of audience turnout, the film did fairly. It did even better as far as critical reception. As Ebert put it, "It provides a first-rate cast (Gene Wilder as the compulsively distrustful chocolate manufacturer, Jack Albertson as the game old grandfather), a first-rate production, and--I keep coming back to this--genuine imagination." And even more well-deserved praise went to Wilder with his Golden Globe nom for the role.

Why it's lasted: It's a childhood (and sweets-lover) fantasy come true. Have you ever stopped dreaming of the three-course-dinner gum? But this film is actually more revered as a cult classic. It's been parodied by pop culture countless times (see: Futurama, Family Guy, Dexter's Laboratory, My Name is Earl, Chuck, SNL... need I really go on?). And while it's often mocked at expense of its silliness, it's almost as frequently noted for it's creepiness. There's just something surreal and sinister about it all.

Classic moment: Can I say every Oompa Loompa song? "Oompa Loopma doompadee doo, I've got another puzzle for you..." Even if you haven't seen it (and I doubt that), you've heard a rendition of this song and likely seen the bobbing orange-faced Oompas as they chanted it.

Does it still hold up? The cast recently reunited on the Today show as the film nears it's fortieth anniversary (in two weeks), but an anniversary DVD hasn't been promised. I mean, the film still airs on television sometimes, but since 2005, Willy Wonka conjures up a far less spectacular, far less commendable version of the story (hint: Johnny Depp and false teeth). Perhaps this film is better left in the memories of its selected true fans.

Passport to India: Om Shanti Om

Whether you're looking for a break from the mainstream, or seeking to add a little international flavour to your stock of film faves, the oft-shyed world of foreign film is definitely one worth exploring. Each month, we'll help you navigate the map with our picks of some of the best from across the globe.

Photo: naachgaana.com

OM SHANTI OM

English equivalent: Moulin Rouge! speckled with Hamlet and Austin Powers in Goldmember.

Wordly charm: Although it's gone largely unrecognised in terms of awards, it has become one of the highest grossing Bollywood films in North America, topped only by My Name is Khan and 3 Idiots. It also received fairly positive reviews by both BBC ("Some clever special effects and the sting in the tale at the end should cement the reputation of this novel choice for cinema-goers.") and the National Post ("It's like sticking your head in a bowl of Skittles—this movie is pure eye candy.").

Guided tour: It begins in the 1970s with Om Prakash (Shahrukh Khan), a junior artiste who dreams of making it big in Bollywood, and hopefully one day winning the heart of his celeb crush Shanti Priya (Deepika Padukone). One day, while working on a film, he hears through the vents that film producer Mukesh Mehra (Arjun Rampal) is secretly married to Shanti but needs to put an end to their marriage for some under-the-table film funding. (No, not sex. This is a Hindi film! But rather marrying another woman.) OK, long story short(-ish), Mukesh murders Shanti in a ravage fire, while Om dies in an explosion trying to save her. But then Om is reincarnated. And he has flashback memories of what happened to Shanti. So he seeks revenge. (And believe me, while that may be a lot to take in, I've spoiled next to nothing. You've still got two hours left of plot to unravel.)

Why you need to see it now!

• Although you may not completely get the film's parodies of both old Bollywood and present, it also laughs at some Hollywood clichés (Dreamy Girls, anyone?).
• Amaaazing outfits. Seriously. I want Deepika's wardrobe from this film.
• Insane drama. If you think my "brief" synopsis to the film is intense, then you have no idea what you're in for. It gets crazy and hilarious.
• An introduction to Deepika Padukone. At the time, she'd only done very limited acting. And although she hasn't done anything nearly as reverent since, there's a lot of hope and promise we'll see her in something big soon.
• One of the best soundtracks ever. And by "ever," I mean, EVER. Songs are so beautiful, you'll wish you knew Hindi. But you'll try to sing them anyway.
• The aforementioned beautiful songs are also paired with stunning dance numbers on magical, surreal sets. (See below. P.S. The brief scene snippet that follows is also great.)
• On that note: over forty mega Bollywood stars strut the red carpet in a mid-film song that you wish will never end. Rani Mukerji, Kajol, Preity Zinta, Salman Khan, Zayed Khan, Juhi Chawla...

Don't You Forget About: Velvet Goldmine

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.

 Photo: impaawards

WHAT it's about: Glitter, drugs and glam rock n' roll. Or more specifically, the highly internalized investigation one journalist (Arthur Stuart) takes on to get to the heart of those things, by way of a memorial on Brian Slade, a faux glitter pop rock icon whose mysterious mid-concert murder may not have happened at all. And whose deliciously destructive love affair with fellow stereotype-smashing badass, Curt Wild, may have totally inspired Arthur's sexual awakening!

WHO's in it: Christian Bale (Arthur Stuart), Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Brian Slade) and Ewan McGregor (Curt Wild). Also, Toni Collette and Eddie Izzard.

WHEN it came out: November 1998

HOW come you haven't heard of (or just seen) it before:  With its explicit man-on-man action, non-linear storyline and fabulously fantastical musical interludes,  it's certainly not everyone's cup of laced tea. Although it received one Academy Award (Costume Design) nomination and praise from the gay community, its unique atmosphere tragically turned off most of the movie-going public.

WHY you need to watch it - immediately!..

• To remind yourself, once again, how ridiculously professional Christian Bale and his constantly evolving (and devolving!) body of work really are. This character is the exact opposite of his drug and attention addicted character in The Fighter - shy, uncomfortable in his own skin and more than a little sexually confused.
• It's basically a hallucinogenic, music history lesson with overwrought dystopic undertones. Think Across the Universe, with better songs (sorry Beatlemaniacs!) and honest-to-goodness homoeroticism.
• The soundtrack is pitch perfect. Featuring actual tracks from the period (Brian Eno, Gary Glitter, David Bowie, Roxy Music, Lou Reed) mixed in with instantly-addictive songs created exclusively for Brian and Curt (which evoke the same, sassy sex vibe), it's a glam rock lover's wet dream. 
• Rhys Meyers and McGregor actually sing their parts. And they sound way hot-and-heavy. 
• Their characters re obviously based on David Bowie and Iggy Pop - futuristic man whore make-up, reckless nudity and all!
• Did I mention that they have a wild, unadulterated affair with each other? And that it's ORGASMICALLY good. 
• CASE IN POINT (NSFPeopleWhoDon'tDigMusicalFellatio)....

12 Days of Festive Faves:The Nightmare Before Christmas

Photo: impaawards.com

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)

THE GIST: Jack Skellington may be the Pumpkin King of Halloweentown - where ghouls, goblins and various garish creatures creep around, obsessively preparing for the day after Devil's Night - but his removable skull head (excellent for reciting Shakespearean quotations) is filled visions of sugarplums. You see, after taking a philosophical stroll in the graveyard one night, he stumbles upon a door which leads him to Christmastown. Having grown so tired of the same old scary things, Jack instantly falls for the heartwarming holiday and decides to take over it himself!

NAUGHTY OR NICE?: Naughty and nice. Although it's definitely suitable for the Santa-loving set with its sweet underlying message and endlessly quotable songs, it's still a Tim Burton film. In other words, it's the Kanye West of Christmas movies. It's a beautiful dark twisted fantasy - filled with creepy crawlies - and clowns with tearaway faces.


WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: There's a reason why this film made it on both our Halloween and Christmas lists. It manages to represent both holidays in a awesomely original way. Whereas it brings some new lighthearted loveliness to everyone's favourite candy and costume fest, it infuses Christmas -  the most sacredly saccharine holiday ever - with some brilliantly bitter dark humour. The result is like hot cider and freshly baked sugar cookies after a day of outdoor decorating to horror fangirls (and Burton buffs!) like us.

MAGIC MOMENT: The scene where Jack discovers Christmastown. Totally taken aback by the winter wonderland, its cheerful residents and their peculiar traditions ("There's children throwing snowballs instead of throwing heads! They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead!"), Mr. Skellington bursts into the film's best song, "What's This." As he investigates the sights, sounds and smells of the festive season, he begins to feel a warmth brewing inside of his lanky, lifeless bones - and so will you.
  
SANTA SIGHTING: In order to take full control of Christmas, Jack kidnaps the jolly old soul, who he genuinely believes is named "Sandy Claws."

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: There are a stocking full of sweet songs in this stop-motion seasonal fave but"What's This" really is the one to put on your Christmas playlist.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Your friend who prefers All Hallow's Eve to Christmas Eve. If this gothic take on the holiday doesn't get them in the spirit, we don't know what will.

12 Days of Festive Faves: The Muppet Christmas Carol

Photo: imdb.com

THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL (1992)

THE GIST: If you don't know the Dickens story, here's a quick rundown: Ebenezer Scrooge hates Christmas. Everyone hates Scrooge. But one night, the ghost of his former employer comes to him and tells him that he needs to change his ways, as he was once as rotten and stingy as Scrooge and now pays for it beyond the grave. So Scrooge is visited by three ghosts who show him Christmas of the past, present and future, attempting to change his heart. The story's been retold countless times. This time, with the furry, floppy, silly Muppets. And Michael Caine.

NAUGHTY OR NICE: So nice. Almost sure to tame any Scrooge, if you can get him to watch the film.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It's all about "the true meaning of Christmas," as corny as that may be. It's also perfect to watch with the fams; everyone has their favourite Muppet.

MAGIC MOMENT: Meeting Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit. You wait for it the entire film and yes, it's worth it. Plus, she's got two piggy daughters with Kermie and they're just as air-headed.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: Anything but a song from this film. Really. They're the only times this film will make you cringe.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Anyone who hasn't read the Dickens classic and doesn't plan on it. Much painless approach.

Stay Classy: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. Every Friday in Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

  

 Photo: EW.com

(Oh, the Horror!)

Although it houses the best unnecessary holiday of the year, October can be one of the most in-between boring months. But babies, don’t you panic. In the velvet darkness of the blackest October night, burning bright, there's a guiding star. No matter what - or who - you are. And its name is Rocky.

This year marks the 35th anniversary of everyone’s favourite catastrophically camptastic cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. With it's overt sexuality, ripped fishnets and smeared lipstick,  RHPS may not seem like a traditionally 'Classy' act (well, unless you're a Little Monster). But that doesn't make it any less legendary. In fact, it deserves the "classic" title more than most movies its age. While most schlocky 70s flicks died on near-arrival, RHPS has remained one of the most rewatched movies ever.

Over the years, the gender bending musical has captured the horny hearts of generations of wannabes, wallflowers and weirdoes, inspiring thousands upon thousands of midnight re-enactments, flying pieces of toast, newspaper hats and spontaneous “Sluts!” and “Assholes!”  The reason being? It’s basically the midnight movie equivalent of 2009 Christina Aguilera. It just keeps getting better.

For those who have yet to have their RHPS cherry popped, the intentionally wacked-out musical follows a young couple named Brad (Barry Bostowick) and Janet (a way-young Susan Sarandon). The newly engaged prepsters get caught with a flat (how bout that?) and head to a shady nearby castle to use the phone. Little do they know they're about to enter a sublimely supernatural haven of scientific experimentation and sweet Transylvanian  transvestites.

Like Brad and Janet when they enter the cobwebbed corridors of Dr. Frank-N-Furter's (the effortlessly extravagant Tim Curry) science fiction sin bin, when you first watch RHPS, you're bound to be a little weirded out. Some of you might not even get out of that state for the entire film. And let's be frank, a few of you will tune out after the opening number, where a pair of fire truck red lips sing an ode to the divine art of Grindhouse. But if you're open-minded, it will rock your world. Hard.

While Rocky Horror's mucked up story is hella fun to attempt to follow (hello, random pool orgy!), the best part of the hot-ass mess of a movie is definitely its superbly catchy song list, sung to a terribly awesome tee by Curry and co. Aside from the infamous “Time Warp,” which is only really awesome when you’re in a room full of drunk high schoolers who don’t know the words and thus are totally faking the dance moves, every song has its own over-the-top appeal.

Take “Damnit Janet,” which features a chorus of monotone male voices murmuring our secretly horny heroine name while she and her lover burst into a spontaneous love song, for example. Or “Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me,” which has Janet squealing the most chuckle-worthy innuendos and panting like a rabid dog. Or the self-explanatory-yet-sassy “Sweet Transvestite,” which is bound to have even the most butch boys claiming not to be “much of a man by the light of day.” And oh god, don’t even get me started on Meatloaf’s (yes, that Meatloaf) mega musical contributions.

Rocky Horror can easily be scarfed down with some friends and some super salty corn at in the comfort of your living room, but it’s best served at a rep cinema with a whole bunch of costumed camp lovers and their self-made Rocky screening kits. Whether you’re a virgin or a hard-core veteran, I can guarantee by the end of your nerdy night out you’ll be wishing you could do the Time Warp again (and again).  And with Halloween - a Glee tribute episode - on the horizon, what better time to get acquainted (or re-acquainted) with the good, girdle-loving Dr. and his charmingly prude charges.  Just make sure you have ample space for pelvic thrusts. You'll need it.

Terribly Awesome!: High School Musical 2

Just another Manic Monday? Wish it was Sunday? Nothing beats a case of the Mondays like a camp-out. And we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. That's right, every Monday we'll be bringing you the best of the worst. It's gonna be awesome - and terrible! - all at the same time.

Photo: movieposter.com

I know what you're thinking - how could anyone think about writing about a second-rate Disney Channel movie musical when they could be resting up for the Glee Season 2 premiere? Well, the answer is simple, Gleeks. Someone needs to prepare you for the mess that will most likely be.

Musical sequels, whether on stage or screen, are just a disaster waiting to break out into mediocre song.  I mean, think about it.  Other than Grease 2 (which is obviously the C-O-O-L-E-S-T), Camp Rock 2 (which is obviously just another excuse for Joe Jonas to make out with his BFF with benefits, Demi Lovato) and that long-awaited Phantom sequel, they are fairly nonexistent. The reason being? They suck harder than that gangly dude at the back of Ms. Darbus' afternoon drama class.

Admit it, you kind of love the original High School Musical. It was - and still sort of is - your guilty pleasure - the perfect, overdone antidote to the serious stress that is your life. You watch it every time it comes on TV (even the terribly uninformative pop-up video editions). You listen to the songs on your iPod more than you'd like to admit ("Breaking Free" is still my jam, okay?).  And you may or may not own at least one pen with Troy Bolton's mug on it. So when you found out it was going to have a sequel, you gathered up all your closest friends to celebrate, ready for more heavily choreographed Wildcats sing-song action and awkwardly colour-coordinated fashions. And boy, were you in for a surprise.

High School Musical 2 is nowhere near as awesomely guilty pleasureful as the original. In fact, it's pretty much all guilty. With a lame storyline, half-baked songs and limp acting (save for Efron's always-ready-for-random-angry-songs-brows), HSM 2 doesn't soar, fly or get anywhere near the stars that surround the Disney version of heaven. To put it in a So-PG-It's-Kind-Of-Awkwardly-Sexual-and-Vanessa-Hudgens terms, High School Musical 2 is the Disney Channel Original Movie equivalent of kindergarten - a pointless, yet entertainingly messy stepping stone on the way to a bright-ass future (I'm talking to you High School Musical 3: Senior Year!).

Grease Sing-A-Long

Photo: Comingsoon.net

(It's - still - electrifying!)

Starring John Travolta, Olivia Newton John, Jeff Conaway and Stockard Channing. Directed by Randal Kleiser. 110 minutes. PG

Back in June of 1978, a little movie called Grease hit theatres. The high school musical, which centered around a '50s love story featuring a blonde, bookish exchange student named Sandy Olsson and a jet black-haired greaser named Danny Zuko, had done fairly well as a Broadway show, and Hollywood decided they wanted a piece of the action. In order to bring it to the big screen, they enlisted the help of Saturday Night Fever heartthrob John Travolta, Australian pop princess, Olivia Newton-John, and a brand-new Bee-Gees-penned title track. The combination was nothing short of electrifying (some may even say chill-multiplying), winning over critics and crazed teenage fangirls alike and inspiring what I think is an awesome sequel starring Travolta's future Hairspray co-star, Michelle Pfeiffer. (I'm not joking.)

Thanks to Zac Efron and the kids from Glee, adolescent operas are en vogue again. And naturally, Hollywood is itching to cash in on the craze again. So they've decided to re-release Sandy and Danny's classic sing-song senior year saga once more. But this time, it's not just digitally remastered or whatever. It's completely interactive.

The Grease Sing-A-Long is exactly what you think it is: a shamelessly fan-friendly audience participation version of the musical we all know off-by-heart. Wait, what makes this different than all the other random Sunday afternoon viewings you belt your brains out to, you ask? Well, first of all, it's in public, so you're obliged to wear something other than your high school gym shirt (many people opt for poodle skirts and pleather jackets). Second, the words are provided for you (not that most Pink Ladies and T-Birds need em'). And these light-up lyrics aren't the plain-old white-and-yellow subtitles kind either. They're straight out of an early 90s edition of Tiger Beat.

The lyrical letters are all bubbly and doodle-like, done up in the same bubblegum pinks and electric blues of the movie's awesome cartoon credits. And they aren't alone. Each song has its own set of funky, over-the-top illustrations to accompany the words. Many of them are meant to mask the more suggestive sections (i.e. a cow with large udders and a black cat replace "lotsa tit" and "pussy [wagon]" in "Greased Lightning"), but most of the time, they highlight the silliness of the scene, making it seem even more fun and hopelessly campy than it already is.

As any seasoned Grease-r might expect, there's plenty of hot pink hearts and lightning bolts to go around the more straight-forward sing-songs, but there's also some misguided popsicles ("Sandy"), horny hot dogs (also, "Sandy") and randomly appearing rings ("Won't go to bed, til I'm legally wed! I can't I'm Sandra Dee!") littered amongst the lyrics. And as Mr. Zuko might say, that's only the beginning!

When Danny wonders what Sandy's doin' now ("Summer Lovin'"), large question-mark thought bubbles pop up beside his bouffant. Then after he sings that he took her bowling in the arcade, a bowling ball magically appears in his hand and flies into Sandy's faux lemonade stroll. And just wait until you see what they've done with "There Are Worse Things I Could Do." Let's just say the illustrations are gossip girls in disguise.

Although there are plenty of in-jokes for those who don't really need to look at the lyrics, the Grease Sing-A-Long is also very first-timer friendly. There's a cartoon mime who teaches the hand jive for those who weren't born with the godly ability. And if you don't know the "Greased Lighning" arm dance, you will by the second chorus. There's no on-screen dance prompts, but you won't need them if you are sitting high enough. My audience was hopelessly devoted to mimicking Danny, Kenickie and co. to a T-Bird. If you're perceptive, you'll have yourself a blast too.

The real reason the Grease Sing-A-Long works so well is that, after 22 years, it's still got that big-screen groove and that feeling. The cinematography is more magical than ever - almost as though the screen has gotten a little, well, greasy. Sandy seems to have developed a halo and Rizzo suddenly has a false alarm preggers glow. It's very RuPaul's Drag Race. And the acting, which has always been perfectly overdone (see: Danny's "Don't make me laugh!" moment and Sandy's "Fake and a phony!" spiel)., works even better when mega-magnified.

Whether than a you're fist pumping on your futon for the 150th time or in a stair-hopping with your best friend down the aisle of an over-air-conditioned theatre for the first (this actually happened to the people next to me), Grease will always be the word. At least that's what I've heard. A-

*Unfortunately, the Grease Sing-A-Long has wrapped up it's highly limited engagement in Toronto (there were only four shows at the Scotiabank, last Friday and Saturday night). But I'm sure it will be back. Because nothing goes together like a ram-a-lama-lama-da-ding-a-da-ding-a-dong like summer movie lovers, Travolta and musical interludes.*

Don't You Forget About: Camp

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.
 

Photo: IMPA Awards

There are two, very different types of camp in my books. There's the traditional kind with musky cabins, bitchy bugs, crappy cafeteria food, unofficial boondoggle competitions and endless memories. Not a huge fan of that one (although that's not a secret). The other kind, however, is much more my style. You know, the category that encompasses everything purposely over-the-top and ridiculously awesome (think Broadway, drag queens, John Waters movies, Adam Lambert).

Camp brings both these definitions together in ridiculously well-tuned harmony. The IFC flick is Glee if it took place 7 years earlier and traded McKinley High for a makeshift wilderness site called Camp Ovation. It follows one summer in the life of said camp's set of musically-inclined misfits and the newest staff member/retired theatre dude, who would rather drink than do Dreamgirls with a 75% white cast again. Like every other camp movie, Camp features lots awkward unrequited romances, food fights, starlit self-discovery and an end of the year talent show. What makes it different is that in place of simple sing-song sound-offs, these campers take Sondheim by storm.

The characters in this underappreciated flick are so similar to the ones on FOX's breakout TV musical, I'm surprised Camp's crew hasn't taken some sort of legal action. There's the over-achieving, misunderstood girl, Ellen (or should I call her Rachel Berry?), the straight and clueless stud, Vlad (hello, Finn!), the lovestruck and lost gay boy, Kurt (I mean, Michael!), the blonde bitchface, Jill (think Quinn pre-preggo), the super-talented but super-self conscious could-be diva, Jenna (Mercedes, with less fab clothes) and the sneaky, secretly talented scene-stealer, Fritzi (sounds a lot like Glee's supposed newcomer, Charice). So I guess it's safe to say Gleeks will love it by default. But unlike that show, which flaunts it's sudden musicality, you don't have to be a Broadway nerd to really get down with Camp.

The songs in this movie are simply done as part of the montages of the various shows the campers do over the summer. In other words, there's no random singing into the camera (well, except for the opening scene, but that is meant to be a dream sequence), which turns many people off big-screen sing-a-longs completely. Like Once, where the folk songs felt like an extension of the main characters' street performer lifestyle, these performances are natural fit, given the circumstances.

In addition to seeming organic, the songs are just flat-out awesome. All the characters do their own singing, and impress big time. The highlights include a group-sing to Todd Rundgren's "A Want of a Nail" and a young Anna Kendrick (You know, the younger Oscar-nominee from Up in the Air and Bella's fair-weather friend in Twilight) singing "The Ladies Who Lunch" from 70s stage classic Company. As she belts the track's climax, which asks everyone to "rise", the audience slowly gets up and gives her a standing o. Don't be surprised if you do the same thing in your living room. It's no wonder this girl got nominated for a Tony at 13. Her crazed take on fame-hungry Fritzi is genius.

But even without the songs and the backstage melodrama (Fritzi totes poisons Jill to get that number!), Camp would still shine like a B-way sign after hours. Robin de Jesus, who has starred in recent Tony-winners In the Heights and the revival of La Cage aux Folles, will break your heart as Angel Dumott Schumard's distant cousin, Michael. The opening montage where he imagines Camp Ovation to keep from accepting the reality that he's getting beaten up for dressing in drag at a high-school dance is Kleenex-city. Joanna Chilcoat is also great at playing up both Ellen's innate talent and epic discomfort with her feelings for Vlad. And Daniel Letterle is seriously crush-worthy as the only straight dude on site. If he doesn't reel you in with his Dirk Diggler karate tribute, he'll certainly get you with his rendition of The Rolling Stones' best ballad, "Wild Horses." Swooning, yet?

At one point in Camp, the ambitious young actors get a chance to meet the godfather of all that is modern musical theatre, Mr. Stephen Sondheim. It's not a back of the head shot or an alluded-to scene either, we actually see the man on-screen as a bona fide part of the story. The fact that such a legend agreed to take part in this little indie film says that it's more than just a campy tribute to musical nerds and their showbiz dreams. Like the underdogs that make every theatre camp thrive, it's actually really special.

Terribly Awesome!: From Justin to Kelly

Just another Manic Monday? Wish it was Sunday? Nothing beats a case of the Mondays like a camp-out. And we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. That's right, every Monday we'll be bringing you the best of the worst. It's gonna be awesome - and terrible! - all at the same time.

Photo: impaawards.com

FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY (2003)

Remember the first season of American Idol? The pre-Glambert, Paula days? Yeah, I don't either. But I do remember From Justin to Kelly, the self-proclaimed "musical event of the summer." (Cue laughter.) It was all clearly a joke. It must have been. The film actually beat out Glitter in the "Worst 'Musical' of Our First 25 Years" at the Razzies. I have nothing to say to those of you who actually took this movie seriously.

The film stars Kelly Clarkson and her goldy-locked American Idol runner-up, Justin Guarini, and is set during spring break in Fort Lauderdale. Of course, they are destined lovers. What else? In a mishmash of bad acting, bad dancing and bad screenplay, the singing sensations deal with backstabbing friends, minor law run-ins and altogether, very, very clean fun. Anti-bacterial, spotless, germaphobic fun. It is the most bizarre imagined spring break ever.

It's so lame that it's hilarious. Think 1950s zeitgeist in a 2003 world.

Terribly Awesome!: Grease 2

Just another Manic Monday? Wish it was Sunday? Nothing beats a case of the Mondays like a camp-out. And we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. That's right, every Monday we'll be bringing you the best of the worst. It's gonna be awesome - and terrible! - all at the same time.

Photo: moviegoods.com

GREASE (1982)

Movie musical fans seem all jazz-hands-ed about this Grease Sing-A-Long thing. Me? I'm resentful. That sing-a-long is missing something very important, at least in this bowling-themed song lover's heart: a two.

We've all seen, and sang along with, Sandy and Danny as they pranced around the outdoor cafetorium of Rydell High a thousand times. We don't even really need the ill-coloured screen-lyrics. But how many times have we gotten down with Michael and Stephanie while they interpretive dance in slow-motion in the misty skies of masked motorcycle man heaven? NOT NEARLY ENOUGH.

Grease 2 may not be as revered as the original. In fact, it's downright reviled. But that doesn't mean it's not worth a watch - or 25. Sure, unlike the first film, which gets by on great singers (Hello, John Travolta!), great acting (What's up, John?) and great chins (Much, love J.), Grease 2 literally has nothing to go on. This awkward 1982 musical sequel (that's sort of enough, right there, isn't it?) stars an obviously unhappy Michelle Pfeiffer, features songs about stamens and fails to adhere to it' supposed time period. It was so bad the Grease crew decided not to go ahead with the 3rd and 4th movies. So I guess in a weird way, you could say it both killed and saved the franchise.

As my old friend Rizzo might say, there are worse things you could watch. But they wouldn't be nearly as fun to make fun of. So throw off your letterman jacket and and pull on pleather pants, Grease-rs. It's time to rock Rydell 1961 style (or is it 1982?)!