Gimme Five!: Bond Themes

Honestly, I've only seen one 007 movie, but I've heard tons of the series' theme songs. I'm not a huge fan of action films (though I'm giving Skyfall a shot this weekend), and--don't hate--I almost feel a great Bond theme can pull off even more attitude than the film itself (says the girl who has only seen one of them). Anyway, let's stop talking about the things I don't know about and let's turn to some 007 theme songs that'll make you feel like a secret agent just listening to them.

(And, although I risk losing the reader altogether at this point, Paul McCartney's "Live and Let Die" isn't even on my list. Don't get me wrong, I love McCartney and think he's one of the greatest songwriters of all time, and although it is a really good song, I just don't feel the swagger.)

5) "The World is Not Enough" by Garbage

What?! Garbage makes the list and McCartney doesn't?! This is ludicrous! It's sheer madness! Well, not really. This song is arrogant, dreamy and sensual at the same time, with a classic touch. Are those not also the traits of a perfectly swoon-worthy Bond?

4) "Diamonds are Forever" by Shirley Bassey

There's a good chance that you know this song because of Kanye West's "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" (which is fine because that's also a great song). After Bassey's iconic "Goldfinger," they brought her back for another theme... and another, "Moonraker." A fourth, please?

3) "Another Way to Die" by Jack White and Alicia Keys (Quantum of Solace)

If you don't already know, let me tell you, Jack White is amazing. Along with McCartney, he's one of my favourite songwriters of all time. This song is dark, powerful and hits you hard when you least expect it. (Yet another idealistic embodiment of Bond.) It's also a very unlikely and pleasantly surprising duet.

2) "Skyfall" by Adele

This song is pure brilliance. If you're looking for someone to pick up where Shirley Bassey left off, you've found it. Sign her on right now for two more themes.

1) "Goldfinger" by Shirley Bassey

Well what else would it be? I've already praised her twice. This song is smooth and rich, moving and simply unforgettable.

Gimme Five!: Most Necessary Movie Mustaches

Join us as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

Hey, it's Movember! It's time for a celebration of hilarious movie mustaches. (I wish we could give the top prize to Sarah Silverman at the 2009 Emmys, but she hasn't worn it in a movie. Yet. Unfortunately, this also disqualifies Ron Swanson's mustache, which is factually the greatest mustache of our era.)

5) Will Ferrell, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

If there are two things we remember about Ron Burgundy: scotch and his mustache.

4) Ben Stiller, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

But how can we take Ben Stiller seriously as a fitness guru and captain of competitive dodgeball team The Purple Cobras without a Fu Manchu?

3) Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

Jules' Winnfield's mustache-sideburn-fro combo is just seriously badass. When one intends to say things like "Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Super Fly T.N.T., I'm The Guns of the Navarone!" or to quote Ezekiel 25:17, one must have the facial hair to back it up.

2) Dustin Hoffman, Hook

Dustin Hoffman with a mustache? Impossible. With a handlebar that curls at the ends? Preposterous! But it is so, and it comes with matching eyebrows.

1) Michael Cera, Youth in Revolt

I have not seen this movie, but I have seen this mustache and that is all I need.

Other mentionable mustaches:

Matt Dillon, There's Something About Mary - One word: Gross.

Seth Rogen, Superbad - What is a cop without a 'stache?

Charlie Chaplin - Just like a little hand broom.

Gimme Five!: 1970s Horror Themes

Join us as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

What do you hear when you look at that photo from the Psycho shower scene? Amazing, right?

There are several elements essential to horror and we know that we don't have to tell film buffs that music is one of the most important of all. A stroll in the woods is no more than a stroll in the woods without piercing violin. Skinny dipping in a lake is no more than skinny dipping in a lake without deep, heartbeat-like notes. A stalking scene is, well, always creepy, but made even better by low, heavy thuds. Sometimes the most important of all is the film's theme. That's what lasts. Let's take a look at one of the decades that did it the best: the 70s.

(Note: If you're hoping for Jaws, it's not happening. Definitely a great score, but not "horror" enough for me.)

5) Phantasm

A theme song that's inexplicably familiar even if you haven't seen the movie (yeah, it's been sampled a lot but that's not quite it... have fun with that link, by the way).

4) The Amityville Horror

An extremely underrated horror with an extremely chilling (Academy Award-nominated) score. Creepy voices that seem to know more than you do, the sharpening of an axe and ominous bass sounds.

3) The Exorcist

From the same composer as The Amityville Horror, it's another one that's brilliantly creepy. You know you know it, even if you're not sure what it's from.

2) Halloween

If you don't know by now, we're both mega-huge fans of John Carpenter's Halloween series. And guess what makes it even better? Carpenter composed this suspenseful, dramatic score himself. Two notes, jumping octaves here and there, it couldn't be simpler—or more perfect.

1) Suspiria

It's strange and it scares me. The film's entire score was composed by Italian prog rock band Goblin. It's bizarre, bold and unforgettable, much like the film itself.

Gimme Five! Bunnies!

It`s Easter Sunday ... yet another holiday where it`s totally permissible to down buckets of cheap chocolate and watch movies (The Ten Commandments, anyone?) in your PJs all day! That is, if the Easter Bunny visits you and brings you said Dollarama sweets.
To celebrate this festive, floppy-eared occasion, we present our favourite big screen bunnies.
(Sadly, due to the fact that she is actually a human, Anna Faris `House Bunny did not make the cut ... )

Gimme Five: Ancient Myths

Wrath of the Titans comes out this week and I couldn't care less. Actually, I could, except that I want to save everyone from watching the sequel of one of 2010's biggest let downs. But if you're still looking for that ancient mythical epic or drama (or, uh, animated family flick), I've got a few suggested rentals instead.

5) Hercules

OK, so it's Disney, but if you (like me) have a soft spot for children's animated movies and you haven't seen this one yet, you should. It's cute and charming, not to mention also has a pretty good soundtrack. (Side note: Why isn't this called Heracles?)

4) O Brother, Where Art Thou?

This is one of those movies that you either get or you don't. In this case, it's reliant on whether or not you're familiar with Homer's Odyssey. On the bright side, even if you don't get but you're a Coen brother fan, you'll still love it for it's quirky humour and style (ie. that indefinable Coen-ness).

3) Thor

Here's where things get epic. Though this is based on the comics, which is based on the Norse god, and isn't truly mythological, it was part of a recent string of really amazing Marvel movies (the next month, X-Men: First Class, followed by Captain America: The First Avenger). If it's any indication, the seemingly over-hyped Avengers will actually be all it appears to be.

2) Troy

It took me too long to get around to seeing this movie but it became an instant favourite once I finally got to it. Based on Homer's Illiad, it's stunning, dramatic and gripping. If you haven't seen this movie, consider yourself lucky that you're still yet to experience it's brilliant epicness for the first time.

1) 300

Though more historical exaggerated to mythical proportions, this movie is as epic as epic gets. It's brutal, hyperbolic, gorgeous and tragic. It's been quoted and parodied beyond measure. It's everything you want in an ancient war epic. And even if you've already seen it, a re-watch is always warranted.

Gimme Five!: Dysfunctional Families

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

With family day right around the corner, what better way to celebrate than by being thankful that we aren't a part of some of the most dysfunctional families we've seen in comedies. Although we love to watch and laugh at misfortune, drama and sheer insanity, we're grateful that we're not one of them.

5) THE BARNES FAMILY

Thanks to a remake of the well-loved British dark comedy Death at Funeral, we've been introduced to the Barnes family. What begins a solemn reunion after the death of the family patriarch turns into a mess of blackmail, murder (or so they think), a Valium high, a revealed affair and more, all unravelled through sometimes inappropriate, sometimes childish and always hilarious humour.

4) THE TENENBAUM FAMILY

Three sibling child prodigies grow up and fall into a slump, as their father tries to win back their and his separated wife's affections, faking cancer after he's kicked out of the hotel he's been living out of. Meanwhile, one son falls in love with his adopted sister, fighting for her affections with his best friend and her much older husband, plus a wreck of other problems. Though it works itself out in the end. Sort of.

3) THE MCCALLISTER FAMILY

The McCallister's are one of my favourite movie families of all time, with some of the best one-liners I've ever heard (and not nearly enough screen time as they deserve). "Look what you did, you little jerk." "You're such a disease." "You're what the French call les incompetents." Of course, all directed at eight-year-old Kevin, who they leave home alone when they go on a family vacation to Paris, unintentionally. No really, it was unintentional.

2) THE HOOVER FAMILY

In 2006, Little Miss Sunshine was the little indie flick that works its way into everyone's hearts, winning awards, critical praise and box office success. But what made this a movie that everyone could fall in love with was just as much its ridiculous scenarios as it was its quirky characters: a teenager taking a vow of silence, a suicidal uncle, a foul-mouthed grumpy grandfather and an aspirational, naive seven-year-old and her parents. The family treks across states to the Little Miss Sunshine beauty contest in a VW bus that always needs a push start so that Olive can win the judges over (or not) with the routine her grandpa taught her to Rick James' Super Freak.

1) THE GRISWOLD FAMILY

When it comes to dysfunctional families, the Griswolds are a classic. In a road trip from Chicago to LA's Walley World, the nutty, ridiculous family comes across robbery, death, getting lost and utter chaos. And even when they've had enough, despite pleas, their father Clark is determined to make it to Walley World, "America's Favourite Family Fun Park." But that just leads to more insanity.

Gimme Five! Faux Footballers

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

For this Cinefille, football movies are automatic touchdowns (Remember the Titans may have been my all-time favourite movie from Grade 7 to Grade 9). They are always drama-filled, slightly violent and feature a handful of good-looking dudes in tight shiny pants. And unlike actual football games, they're super fast-paced, cutting right to the stuff that matters - the field goals and the debauchery of the dressing room celebrations that follow.

With the Super Bowl - the only tolerable pigskin-themed sporting event of the year (because of the often-uncomfortable half-time shows and chili!) - airing one week today, I thought it might be fun to give my favourite big-screen sport a pass, counting down the best football movies of all-time. But I found that way too hard. There are just so many good ones - Friday Night Lights, Any Given Sunday, Rudy, All the Right Moves, Lucas, VARSITY BLUES!

After much deliberation and rummaging through my DVD collection, I decided to offer you the next best thing .... the Cinefilles' very own fantasy football league! Or rather, the most ballin' film football players who don't actually seem to play football. 

Gimme Five!: Most-anticipated Horror Movies of 2012

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

A few great gems aside, 2011 was a pretty crappy year for horror. It was more of a year for the marginally horror films, suspense thrillers like Straw Dogs and Red State, and sci-fi like The Thing and Apollo 18. Of course, it was also the year of Scream 4, Insidious and brilliant indie find Grave Encounters, but I draw the line there.

But this upcoming year seems like it'll make up for it all with its endless promising list of horror releases in store. I was seriously tempted to write "Gimmie Another Five" later just so I could squeeze in 10 picks, but I painstakingly cut it down to the five I really can't wait for.

WORLD WAR Z

Brad Pitt in a zombie movie? I used to think that Brad Pitt could choose no wrong when it comes to movies, and when he chose baseball movie Moneyball, I thought it was the beginning of the end. But I was so wrong. When I first heard of World War Z, I was tempted to think the same. But Moneyball convinced me that I will be wrong. (Release date: December 21)


PROMETHEUS

It's the prequel to Alien that we're told is not the prequel to Alien. And like its unofficial sequel, strong women Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron take the lead alongside Michael Fassbender and Guy Pearce. (Release date: June 8)


SINISTER

A true-crime novelist (Ethan Hawke) seeking inspiration stumbles upon a box of home videos of an entire family murdered in what is now his new home. But uncovering the murder isn't as "crime thriller" as you might suspect when the story becomes supernatural. (Release date: August 24 October 5)


THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

This movie looks like the outcome if you'd combined Friday the 13th and Cube: a horror sci-fi thriller set in a cabin in the woods inexplicably like a maze where our main characters are caught up in a mad chase. (Release date: April 13)


THE WOMAN IN BLACK

Ghosts in creaky, dusty old houses? That's my kind of horror. Because ghosts are real. Judging from the trailer, styling looks amazing, scares look haunting and Daniel Radcliffe seems like more than Harry Potter. (Release date: February 3)

Honourable mentions: The Innkeepers, The Apparition, The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes (possibly)

Gimme Five!: Non-traditional Holiday Movies

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion. 

This season has been quite the unconventional one in terms of holiday movies. Instead of stuffing November and December with cinematic coal (lame, stereotypical festive films like say Four Christmases and Deck the Halls), Hollywood gifted us an animated Brit comedy (Arthur Christmas) and a stoner Christmas cracker-upper (Harold and Kumar's 3D Christmas). To celebrate this welcome decking of the holiday cliches, we bring you our favourite non-traditional seasonal favourites.

Gimme Five! Will Ferrell Movies That are Always on TV

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

There are some comedies that are always on TV, ie. Wedding Crashers, Meet the Parents, Big Momma's House... And there are the people who always watch them, ie. me. So, in honour of one of my favourite Will Ferrell movies on TV last night and three more on today (and me watching them all), I give you my run-down of Will Ferrell movies that are always on TV (that I will always watch anyway). (By the way, the only reason Elf doesn't make the cut is because it's only on come the wintery months. Every single night.)

Gimme Five! Fangtastic Romances

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

 Photo: allmoviephoto.com

Whether you're a Twi-hard or not, I'm sure you know that there's a new vampire romance taking a bite out of the box office this weekend. In honour of the release of that fangirl magnet of a series, let's take a look back at some of the least sucky creature of the night film couples in recent times.