Don't You Forget About: Election

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.

WHAT it's about: Crazed perfectionist Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon) is determined to win the title of student council president (just another accolade among several other high school achievements), against some unlikely competition and the interference of a teacher (Matthew Broderick) who secretly can't stand her.

WHO's in it: Reese Witherspoon, Matthew Broderick and Chris Klein. An odd combo when you think about it.

WHEN it came out: 1999

HOW come you haven't heard of (or just seen) it: You may have seen it, but chances are, you've forgotten about it. The main cast is remembered for other movies. And if they aren't, they aren't remember for much else at all. It received high critical acclaim when it released and was nominated for an Academy Award, but if someone asked you to name a Reese Witherspoon or Matthew Broderick movie, are you really going to say Election?

WHY you need to watch it--immediately!

• It's hilarious! Allow me to illustrate with Tracy's narration: "None of this would have happened if Mr. McAllister hadn't meddled the way he did. He should have just accepted things as they are instead of trying to interfere with destiny. You see, you can't interfere with destiny, that's why it's destiny. And if you try to interfere, the same thing's just going to happen anyway, and you'll just suffer."
• What it if only for Reese as Tracy Enid Flick and the scene when she insanely tears down all the election posters in the hallway until her hands are blistered bloody.
• It's completely self aware, like when Mr. McAllister asks his class the difference between ethics and morals, on the cusp of his own moral/ethical tumult.
• This was the film that really made us fall in love with Reese, closely following Pleasantville and Cruel Intentions. She's perfect as an insane psycho-freak.
• Ferris Bueller is now a teacher! Well, not really, but ironic, right?
• Ever wonder what happens when brilliant writing meets, a tremendous cast and a great director come together? It's dark, awkward, strange and clever.

Gimme Five!: Most Necessary Movie Mustaches

Join us as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

Hey, it's Movember! It's time for a celebration of hilarious movie mustaches. (I wish we could give the top prize to Sarah Silverman at the 2009 Emmys, but she hasn't worn it in a movie. Yet. Unfortunately, this also disqualifies Ron Swanson's mustache, which is factually the greatest mustache of our era.)

5) Will Ferrell, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

If there are two things we remember about Ron Burgundy: scotch and his mustache.

4) Ben Stiller, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

But how can we take Ben Stiller seriously as a fitness guru and captain of competitive dodgeball team The Purple Cobras without a Fu Manchu?

3) Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction

Jules' Winnfield's mustache-sideburn-fro combo is just seriously badass. When one intends to say things like "Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Super Fly T.N.T., I'm The Guns of the Navarone!" or to quote Ezekiel 25:17, one must have the facial hair to back it up.

2) Dustin Hoffman, Hook

Dustin Hoffman with a mustache? Impossible. With a handlebar that curls at the ends? Preposterous! But it is so, and it comes with matching eyebrows.

1) Michael Cera, Youth in Revolt

I have not seen this movie, but I have seen this mustache and that is all I need.

Other mentionable mustaches:

Matt Dillon, There's Something About Mary - One word: Gross.

Seth Rogen, Superbad - What is a cop without a 'stache?

Charlie Chaplin - Just like a little hand broom.

Forgotten Frights II: The Return of the Living Dead

Forgotten Frights is back! To celebrate the second anniversary of our annual horror movie roundup, every weekday for the next month we're going to sound off on a scary good sequel (or, if we want some cheese with our corn syrup, a schlocky second), ruminating on the returns of our favourite monsters, murderers, heroes (or heroines), creepies, crawlies, chills and thrills.

What came before it: Night of the Living Dead. I know what you're thinking: isn't Dawn of the Dead the sequel to Night of the Living Dead? Technically, yes. But that was George A. Romero's sequel. This is a darkly comedic adaptation of Night cowriter John Russo's completely separate novel follow-up.

What remains: Just a leftover bin of zombie bodies from Night of the Living Dead. Return of the Living Dead reanimates the late guys and gals that come after the punk rock protagonists of this flick.

Why it deserves a second (and third, and fourth) chance:

• It is the reason "Braaaaaains!" has become the official zombie manifesto. It was the first movie to have the walking dead chow down on grey matter and utter the now famous phrase.
• It's highly self-aware, name dropping Night of the Living Dead right off the bat.
• Unlike some of the Romero sequels, it's really quite funny, intentionally and unintentionally (those costumes!).
• The soundtrack is stellar, featuring an hot mess of pop-punk tracks that take the B plot to a whole other out-of-control level.
• There is a wicked cemetery party scene in which one of the spiky-haired hipsters inexplicably strips down to her skivvies and dances atop a tomb. Talk about raising the dead! (Eww. I just wrote that.)
• There are characters named Spider, Trash, Scuz, Suicide and Tarman. Oh, and two characters named Burt and Ernie (no relation to the ones on Sesame Street).
• It was written and directed by Dan O'Bannon, scribe of Alien and the original Total Recall.
• The zombie puppet stuff was done by a former Muppeteer.

The Cabin in the Woods

Photo: Diyah Pera / Lionsgate

Generally, when horror fans hear the phrase “cabin in the woods,” they either get psyched, prepping themselves for a fun, forested fuck n’ filet fest orchestrated by a hack-happy maniac/ill-explained demonic force/crew of inbred bastards, or roll their eyes in absolute abhorrence. Joss Whedon (Buffy, Firefly, the new Avengers) and Drew Goddard (Cloverfield) may have finally found a way to forge a disturbing peace between the two camps with their new film, The Cabin in the Woods.

The “Oversexed kids go on a weekend getaway to get off, but end up getting offed!” genre has be hacked to pieces over the last 30 years, thanks to bad sequels (paging Mrs. Voorhees and son!), remakes (see: the new Evil Dead reboot) and low budget/high gore indies (Hatchet). If you take The Cabin in the Woods for its spoiler-free plot summary—a group of college students (Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchinson, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz and Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth) head to a you-know-what for the weekend and killer chaos ensures!—it sounds like yet another stale addition to the genre. In truth, it’s a substantial, subversively sexy smoochie to those who know those films like Billy Loomis got to know Casey’s insides.

The Cabin the Woods feels like a cool cousin to the Scream series. It targets our expectations of it
(and all other films like it), like flesh-eating disease, embodying them only to slaughter them (lovingly) from within. I won’t get too specific—no twist reveals here!—but this includes playfully eschewing the genre “rules” (who says virgins have to live?) and shucking off the scary for the howlingly hilarious in under two seconds.

I’m sure Cabin will turn off Whedonverse virgins and horror comedy haters, those came for blood and boobs and no brains. They may be drawn in by the purposely broad characters, though. Kranz is infinitely likeable as Marty, the Shaggy-Xander hybrid of this doomed Scooby gang, Unfortunately, he loses too much screen time to Connolly’s supposed survivor girl and Velma-Willow, Dana. Aside from Richard Jenkins (Let Me In) and Bradley Whitford (TV’s The West Wing), who play a pair possible villains, the acting in the film isn’t anything to write home on Crystal Lake stationary about. But that may have been intentional...

What Cabin ought to be applauded for is its script, a product of well-researched originality, genuine passion and fanboyish wit which picks up where Buffy left off (at times, it even seems like the alternate ending for Season 4). The quippy dialogue and clever twists cut like a freshly-sharpened butcher knife, gnawing away at the best and worst parts of the current horror climate and hitting bones struck (but not severed) by last year’s Scream 4.

For that alone, this Cabin deserves a spot next to the underrated straight-to-DVD masterpiece Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon in the modern slasher satire trophy case. Or at least one visit. A

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchinson, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford. Directed by Drew Goddard. 96 minutes. 18A

DVD: The Muppets

I used to watch reruns of the Muppets and Sesame Street religiously when I was young. I've seen every Muppets movie. It's fair to say I'm the target audience for the latest Muppets movie. Also, I like Jason Segel and Amy Adams a lot, another bonus, as well as Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords, who wrote all the original songs for the movie (and won an Oscar for "Man or Muppet"!). OK you get it. I had been waiting for this movie since I first heard about it. But I'm also a tough critic. The Muppets are best known for their balance of pop culture references, old school comedy, celebrity appearances and their borderline inappropriate humour. I was also ready to not like this film based on the overly cutesy Glee-like musical trailers, blegh, but I would give it a chance because they're the Muppets. I was pleasantly surprised.

We meet the two brothers Walter (a puppet) and Gary (Jason Segel), and Gary's girlfriend Mary (amy Adams). Walter is obsessed with the Muppets and jumps at the chance to join Gary and Mary on a trip to Hollywood to visit the Muppets studio. When they arrive they discover that an evil oil tycoon (Chris Cooper) is planning on tearing down the studio unless the Muppets can get 10 million dollars together in a couple days. The brothers and Mary find Kermit and they all set out to get the old gang back together for one last show to save the studio. Cue the montages!

Compared to the other Muppet movies, they really took this film in a different direction, mostly in that there is a lot of focus on the original show. It feels like the team got together and went through all of the Muppets history (and puppet closet!) to come up with what's really a love letter to the show. There's old footage, old characters, and recreations of the old set and feel of the show. This Muppets movie is really for old fans, and their kids. There are of course lots of currently popular stars but that isn't the focus; the focus is nostalgia with a sense of humour. Now don't get me wrong, Muppets movies are notoriously silly, a little shallow and thinly plotted, and this one was no different but this one felt a lot more aware of it and pushed it, evident in the campaign prior to the films release (i.e. multiple internet spoof trailers and Miss Piggy's fashion magazine spread).

Walter, the token "new" Muppet (mandatory for all Muppet movies), is an OK addition. He learns all about the Muppets past and what it means to be a part of the gang. By the end of the film everyone is just so happy to be together that all problems they experience along the way solve themselves, a classic Muppet movie ending, and a little forced. The show at the end of the film is worth the rent though and is a great throwback to the original show but with relevant nods for the younger audience members.

All in all its a Muppets movie for classic Muppet lovers (which was apparently not my sister who said "meh"). I would watch any Muppets movie and it was about time for a new one. Ignoring most of the more forced parts, it was a pleasure. B


EXTRAS: A special "intermission" when you pause the movie, blooper reel, making-of featurette, deleted scenes, screen tests, spoof trailers, audio commentary and Easter eggs.

Starring Jason Segel, Amy Adams, Rashida Jones, Chris Cooper, Jack Black and the Muppets. Directed by James Bobin. 103 minutes. G

By Isa Montagnese


Dream cast: Gene Wilder. That's it.

Casa de mi Padre

It’s all in the details with Matt Piedmont’s mock-telenovela, Casa de mi Padre. A handy glass of liquor in an all-out gun fight. A sudden cut to set of miniature toy cars. A decked-out mannequin in the back of a wedding party.

They’re easy to miss. But if you miss them, you kind of miss the point.

Will Ferrell stars as Armando Alvarez in this all-Spanish spoof, the son of Mexican ranch owner Miguel (Pedro Armendáriz Jr.) and brother to the brighter and more successful Raul (Diego Luna). Things go south when it’s revealed that Raul has entered the drug-trafficking business and brings home a new fiancée. Soon to follow are crooked cops, DEA agents, and a hilarious Gael García Bernal as Raul’s two-cigarettes-at-a-time, drug rival Onza.

Add in continuity errors, terrible effects, dramatic zoom shots and a host of gags you’d find in a typical SNL skit, and you’ve got the perfect, outlandish spoof. Except that this one wasn’t. You can’t blame a film for not being as stupid as you thought it might be. Not to say Casa de mi Padre was smart. But for a movie meant to be ridiculous, there weren’t too many laugh-out-loud moments. Several smirks and a few chuckles into it, I was glad the film was only 84 minutes long.

Ferrell takes his Spanish seriously, and Bernal and Luna’s characters are left to do most of the comedic heavy-lifting. Genesis Rodriguez holds her own among the boys and shines on screen as Sonia, the beautiful niece of Onza. (Seriously, she made me want to go buy bronzer right away.) But the stars of the film really were small tidbits in the background. Problem was there weren’t enough of them. Let’s just say I was muy happy my ticket was free courtesy of my Scene card. B-

Directed by Matt Piedmont. Starring Will Ferrell, Diego Luna, Gael García Bernal, Genesis Rodriguez, Pedro Armendáriz Jr. 84 minutes. 14A

By Jelena Djurkic
Dream cast: Helen Hunt, Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster and David Duchovny (but only if he gets to yell out "Scully!")

Terribly Awesome!: Leprechaun

Cinefilles, it's time for a camp-out! And no, we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. (Although, they may very well make questionable individual appearances.) We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. So join us as Emily (our resident camp connoisseur) leads you through one of the best of the worst movies of all-time. It's gonna be awesome—and terrible!—all at the same time.

St. Patrick's Day: Lucky for some, fatally unlucky for others.

Some might consider that first group to be those who near-empty their pockets o' gold buying thirteen pints of green beer, hoping to charm the pants off some cute, willing ginger lad/lass. I say the real winners are those that spend the day wearing emerald PJs, eating Lucky Charms and watching classic Irish culture films like that 2010 Amy Adams masterwork, Leap Year, the Disney Channel Original Movie The Luck of the Irish and any and or every movie in the Leprechaun series.

Honestly, any of the Leprechaun films would have worked perfect for this column (see, specifically: Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood). But I thought I'd start with the cinematic four leaf clover that started it all.  Especially since ... there's a remake in the works?!

Can you say, "MAGICALLY DELICIOUS"? 

Wanderlust

Starring Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd, Justin Theroux, Malin Akerman, Ken Marino and Mikaela Watkins. Directed by David Wain. 98 minutes. 14A

Fourteen years ago, Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston awkwardly tried to play friends with weird, sexually obtuse benefits in the mainly mediocre rom com, The Object of Affection. Then they just played good friends (or, I suppose friends-in-law) on Friends. In Wanderlust, they play an amalgamation of the two, pretending to be both best friends and husband and wife.

America's swingy-haired sweetheart and the Apatow era's most earnest everyman headline David Wain's latest quirky comedy concoction, a light-hearted and occasionally hilarious commentary on finding yourself despite the deep, dark hole that is the recession. The duo play Linda and George, New Yorkers who have to leave their newly purchased studio apartment behind when they both lose their jobs. On their way to move in with his brother (Ken Marino, Party Down) and perpetually prescription-stoned wife (Mikaela Watkins, SNL), the pair happen upon a free lovey dovey community dubbed Elysium, and fall for its welcoming, toke-sharing inhabitants.

With that effortlessly wavy hair and revolving door way with men, it's not hard to believe that Aniston might become a closeted hippie. Especially if that hippie was a part of semi-cult led by her current boyfriend (Justin Theroux, stealthily walking the fine line between goofy and loosey goosey sexy in a Russell Brand wig). The role is no stretch for her, and as a result, she doesn't particularly shine. The exception is her solo scenes with Rudd. Their long-developing relationship is finally paying off ... in spot-on, erratic road trip montages.

Rudd will make you spit out your popcorn at certain moments, especially when he struggles to come up with filthy come-ons in front of Elysium's shared bathroom mirror. His enunciation is strained and stunted, and thus, very true to his fish-out-of-clean-water character. The uncomfortable voice he comes up with must be a first cousin of the one he used to "slap da bass" in I Love You, Man.

This gag, clearly scripted by Rudd on the fly, is highly reminiscent of the scene in Wain's underappreciated, star-studded opus, Wet Hot American Summer, in which Janeane Garafalo reads a list of names she clearly just made up. In fact, much of the movie plays seems to pay homage to that summer camp-set film, or at least its actors. With Marino and Rudd in major roles and Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and Joe La Truglio popping up for short lewd cameos, it's the makeshift reunion event you haven't been waiting for (unless you're awesomely informed).  It's too bad Wain forgot to invite Wet Hot American Summer's fearless wit to the party.

Many of Wanderlust's jokes are a little too safe (Linda has a high-flying hallucination), making the purposefully in-your-face ones (La Truglio's penis gets a lot of play) seem out of place. But that's not to say you won't giggle profusely. As the name suggests, Wanderlust is a half-decent little escape flick for those whose sense of humour is slightly off the oft-beaten path. B

DVD Review: Jack and Jill

Directed by Dennis Dugan. Starring Adam Sandler, Katie Holmes, Al Pacino and Nick Swardson. 91 minutes. PG

I get that so many people hate on this movie. I do. It's a ridiculous premise. It's totally nonsensical, flat out stupid even at times. But I think it's hilarious.

This entire movie is a joke, and a very funny one at that. Adam Sandler plays Jack, an average family guy, who's dreading his twin sister's (also Sandler) Thanksgiving visit. She's annoying, loud, judgemental and an utter airhead. But she gets Al Pacino to fall in love with her. (Cue the drums: ba-dum-tsh!) If you don't get it, you won't get it.

For those of us Sandler fans, this is Sandler comedy to the extreme. It's not supposed to be believable, it's not supposed to be logical. You laugh at stupidity, you laugh at funny sounds and you laugh at slapstick. And as usual, Sandler comes with his famous friends in tow: Dana Carvey, David Spade (also hilarious as a woman), Rob Schneider, Norm MacDonald and the whole Happy Madison roster. Plus cameos from Johnny Depp, Regis Philbin and Shaq (along with Spade, another highlight of the movie).

I'm not going to give you a rundown of the jokes, because truthfully, I don't remember them. It happens sometimes with Sandler movies. The jokes happen, you laugh, you move on. (But of course, the better ones live on, like those in Big Daddy, Mr. Deeds and yes, even You Don't Mess with the Zohan.) There's not a whole lot to say about this movie (even Wikipedia slacks on the synopsis with just one sentence), except maybe "Why's Katie Holmes here?" A-

Never Seen It! Sunday: City Slickers

You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!

CITY SLICKERS


DATE RELEASED: June 7, 1991


DATE WATCHED: February 25, 2012


WHY NOW? Likely in honour of Billy Crystal hosting the Oscars tomorrow night, it was on TV.


WHY NOT THEN? It's a pretty sad story actually. When I was younger, I'd make a neverending list of movies I wanted to watch. City Slickers was on that list. I'd scope out the local rental store and find as many as I could, but the variety was never great. My second resort was my family's old collection of VHSes from before my time. My third resort was TV. I'd check the weekly listings and see which movies were coming on that were on my list and either watch them or record them for later. I looked for years but I never found City Slickers. And then I forgot about it.


EXPECTATIONS:

• A hilarious Billy Crystal. (The other thing I'd seen him in was Monsters, Inc., needless to say, which was years after my list.)
• A non-western in a western setting: barren land and lots of horses. Well, what else?
• That's it. Really. I don't even remember why City Slickers was originally on my list. I feel like I knew nothing about it.

WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT...

The Vow

Directed by Michael Sucsy. Starring Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum, Scott Speedman, Sam Neill and Jessica Lange. 120 minutes. 14A

I saw this movie on Valentine's Day (hold your judgement) and on a discount Tuesday, so needless to say, there was a line wrapping around the movie's entrance. And while I can't say it was completely worth the wait, it wasn't entirely regrettable. Actually, I can't say I hold any firm stance on this movie at all.

I love romances. But that being said, I'm extremely picking about the romances I see. I'm not really into rom-coms, unless it stars Drew Barrymore, though I've seen nearly all the Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez and Kate Hudson ones, plus more. I'm into what I feel is a representation of true, honest, passionate love, ie. the likes of Moulin Rouge!, Cold Mountain and such. Truthfully, I probably wouldn't have seen The Vow if not for some convincing from my own real life love (and when else better to be lovey dovey than on Valentine's Day). Turns out, it's watchable. Though that's about it.

The story follows young married couple Paige (Rachel McAdams) and Leo (Channing Tatum) who are truly, madly, deeply (cue the Savage Garden song) in love, until she smashes her head through the wind shield in a car accident and forgets who he is.

Full disclosure: I became a Channing Tatum un-fan just prior to seeing this movie. For me, and I'd think most, hosting SNL the weekend before this movie came out probably hurt it more than promoted it because he was so utterly unfunny. I fell asleep after I could take no more of the stripper jokes. Had The Vow actually been really good, I might have been convinced that I was wrong about him, but instead, I've discovered that he's neither good at comedy nor romance. I'm not betting on drama or anything else really.

McAdams was cute and charming as usual, though that wasn't enough to make it through bad writing. The movie a much sadder concept than its execution. I could get teary just thinking about it. I didn't feel for these characters, yet I felt for the real-life couple whose actual story I never really knew. Meanwhile, Jessica Lange could use more screen time (as she always could).

Admittedly, it wasn't as corny as I'd expected. It had potential. It just wasn't executed well. I have an idea! Let's rewrite it! Ryan Gosling can star as the lead, it'll be set in the 1940s in South Carolina and they will share a very passionate kiss in the pouring rain. Ah, much better. B-

Don't You Forget About: Role Models

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.

ROLE MODELS


WHAT it's about: When energy drink salesmen Danny (Paul Rudd) and Wheeler (Seann William Scott) interrupt the towing of their company car, driving it into a school statue, they're sent to do community work with Sturdy Wings, a Big Brothers Big Sisters type program. When Wheeler gets paired with Ronnie (Bobb'e J. Thompson) a.k.a. Chris Rock Jr. and Danny with live action role-player Augie (Christopher Mintz-Plasse, better known as McLovin), things get hilarious.


WHO'S in it: Upcoming star of Wanderlust Paul Rudd and Goon's Seann William Scott, alongside Thompson, Mintz-Plasse, Elizabeth Banks, pre-Glee Jane Lynch and pre-Community Ken Jeong. Plus, for MADtv fans, Nicole Randall Johnson and Keegan-Michael Key!


WHEN IT CAME OUT: 2008


HOW come you haven't heard of (or just seen) it: Chances are, you have heard of it, but I wouldn't be surprised if you'd forgotten about it. Some critics knocked it as childish and stupid, never fully living up to its potential. Possibly worst of all, an "Apatow imitation." Ouch. Personally, I find it way undervalued, even by those who thought it was "good."


WHY you need to watch it--immediately!

• By far, the strongest part of this movie is the chemistry of the cast. They completely riff off each other and come across as completely believable, like they really do hang out together off-screen, despite Rudd's and Thompson's age gap of 27 years.
• Although they work amazingly as a team, each actor is hilarious on his own: Thompson's one-liners, Scott's idiocy, Rudd's sarcasm and Mintz-Plasse's, well, dorkiness. Perfect blend, right?
• As I mentioned before, MADtv cast cameos! Although this was pre to MADtv's cancellation, I can't help but root for their always small appearances.
• It's charming. No really, it works itself out in a somewhat-cliché but kind of sweet way.
• It's a great follow-up for Mintz-Plasse after Superbad, giving him a shove into the film world and showing us that he's got a lot more promise.
• Paul Rudd is funny! I know I already mentioned the cast, but this deserves its own point. He's had a pretty bad run recently (see: Dinner for Schmucks, How Do You Know, Our Idiot Brother), but it's nice to be reminded of a better time in his career. And with Role Models writer-director David Wain and writer Ken Marino bringing us Wanderlust soon, here's hoping Rudd is back on track.

Terribly Awesome!: From Dusk Till Dawn

Cinefilles, it's time for a camp-out! And no, we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers (although, they may very well make questionable individual appearances). We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. So join us as Emily (our resident camp connoisseur) leads you through one of the best of the worst movies of all-time. It's gonna be awesome—and terrible!—all at the same time.

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's not-quite-forgotten, but not-quite revered "action extravaganza" (Ebert's words via my DVD case, not mine) From Dusk Till Dawn may have come out sixteen years ago today, but I think would be quite at home in January 2012.

Okay, check it. The 1996 horror comedy stars recent Golden Globe winner and Best Actor Oscar contender George Clooney (who you might remember was my reason for December's tribute to Return to Horror High), and The Firm's leading lady and Twit-disturber Juliette Lewis. Also, like this week's new Underworld film, it features a kickass female heroine (Lewis) and some seriously batshit creatures of the night. And, despite his somewhat questionable taste in modern cinema, we're always itching for more Tarantino (Django Unchained is already our favourite Christmas present).

I hope you're hungry, fellow lovers of all things equally awful and awesome. Cause you're about to feast your eyes on a buffet of blood, bikers, Salma Hayek's boobs and one hell of a fiery arm tattoo. 

WHY IT'S TERRIBLE:

Home Theatre Tuesday (Dec. 6, 2011)

Each week, we bring you a quick run-down of what's out on DVD so you don't miss the hits and you can skip the misses.

 Photo: amazon.ca

Must buy: The Help

Mississippi writer Kathryn Stockett's rendering of African American life in the southern U.S. in The Help, earned her a spot on the NYT Best Sellers list as well as critical scorn for re-imagining the slavery of Blacks in the pre-civil rights movement '60s as a struggle concerning white folk themselves. (Things like where will whites allow their 'help' to use the toilet and what ingredients should they bake into pies.) Director Tate Taylor (Pretty Ugly People) picks up on the book's self-imposed dilemma and runs with it, all the way, including a meditation on what these answers would look like (comedic, it appears) in his adaption of the self-same book.

Read the rest of Ava's review.

Don't even rent:  The Hangover Part II

You know that dismal feeling when you’re watching a film, and everything seems so... familiar? You know all the punch lines, can predict every plot twist, and once-interesting characters are about as engaging as wet paint. Fans of The Hangover will likely experience this very melancholia after the second instalment of Todd Phillips' burgeoning franchise, which is little more than a tired carbon copy of its predecessor. 

 Read the rest of Manori's review. 

Terribly Awesome!: Return to Horror High

Cinefilles, it's time for a camp-out! And no, we ain't talkin' s'mores, sing-a-longs and psycho killers. (Although, they may very well make questionable individual appearances.) We're talking about getting in touch with your guilty pleasure zone. So join us as Emily (our resident camp connoisseur) leads you through one of the best of the worst movies of all-time. It's gonna be awesome—and terrible!—all at the same time.

Photo: impaawards.com

When most people think of George Clooney, they think of the silver foxy cross-generational crush he's become, with his literal movie star good looks and generally good taste in films.  They think of him strutting his gentlemanly stuff on the set of a critically-acclaimed dramedy (like the recently released The Descendants or Up in the Air), crowd-pleasing, but suave blockbuster (think the Ocean's series) or a politically-charged agenda pic (i.e. The Ides of March).  I like to think the Cloons' unforgettable turn in the meta-slasher non-classic, Return to Horror High.

WHY IT'S TERRIBLE:

Never Seen It! Sunday: The Muppets Take Manhattan

You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!

 Photo: impaawards.com

THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN

DATE RELEASED: July 13, 1984

DATE WATCHED: November 26, 2011

WHY NOW? After seeing and falling head over heels for The Muppets, I decided to revisit some of the old school Kermit and co. stuff. And I realized that I've never actually seen this movie! And yet, I definitely saw Muppets in Space in theatres. For shame!

WHY NOT THEN? It came out five years too early for this 1989-er. And despite being a big fan of Kermie and Muppet Babies, I just never got around to it later on.

EXPECTATIONS:

• Lots of original songs and dancing.
• Some sort of Broadway-style Muppet show.
• A trip to the Empire State Building and multiple stops at hot dog carts.
• A Liza Minnelli cameo.
• A whole host of other 1980s celebs appearing at random for 30 seconds.
• Kermit being his typical, adorable, everyman leader self, trying to reel in his puppet pals' and save the day, again.

WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT..

DVD: Crazy Stupid Love

 

“That is such a cliche.” So says Steve Carell’s character as a rain storm suddenly pours down after his lowest moment in Crazy Stupid Love.

If you’ve only seen the trailer (with that overly swelling Muse soundtrack), you might be tempted to say the same about the romantic dramedy, which documents in a semi-Love, Actually style, the various types and stages of L-O-V-E. And indeed, there are plenty of expected and not-totally-fresh feel good moments throughout the film. However, like a solid long-term relationship, there are just enough surprises to keep you not only interested but genuinely excited. Some are crazy (Josh Groban—yes, that Josh Groban—playing a lawyer!?). Some are stupid (Marisa Tomei jumping Steve Carell’s bones with crazy eyed aplomb). But most of it is just, to quote Eliza Doolittle, loverly. Really, really, really loverly.

Read the rest of Emily’s review.

Forgotten Frights, Oct. 26: Bubba Ho-Tep

BUBBA HO-TEP (2002)

Section of the cinematic cemetery: The crotchety, yet charming crossroads between Grumpy Old Men, The Mummy and Evil Dead 2

Cause of (premature) death: Definitely not the reviews. It maintains a 78% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and got high marks from tough horror critics like Ebert and Travers. But the lower budget, B-movie name and Bruce Campbell-led cast made it only really appeal to niche nerd like us. 

What its tombstone would read: An old dude who thought he was the real Elvis and a black, wheelchair-set man who was convinced he was JFK defended their East Texan nursing home by taking on the hick mummy that haunted its halls and robbed its residents of their actual last breaths.

Why it needs to be revived: Did you read the last category? I mean, could there be a more original and intriguing horror comedy in the world? And what makes it even better is that, unlike many an awesomely titled indie genre flick, this one is legitimately decent, following through on its ridiculous story every single slightly slippery step of the way and wrangling what I think may just be the best Bruce Campbell  performance ever. It’s not a scary monster movie by any means, but it’s monstrously funny—and creative, to cowboy boot. If the thought of a hunk of no longer burnin’ love walker-ing towards a slow-moving undead Egyptian in rodeo gear sounds like the best thing you’ve yet to see, it’s because it really is.

Forgotten Frights, Oct. 22: I Sell the Dead

I SELL THE DEAD (2008)

Section of the cinematic cemetery: Zombie horror meets illegal crime thriller

Cause of (premature) death: It’s a low-budget black comedy horror that’s only grossed... (wait for it)... $8,050 in its entire theatre run in the U.S. It ran at 17 international film fests (including Toronto After Dark) before its theatre run then came out a year later on DVD. But it’s next to impossible to track down for rental. (But buying it isn’t a bad idea at all.)

What its tombstone would read: Two grave robbers turned zombie traffickers got framed for murder. Zombie traffickers, you ask? When the dead-body snatching business got cold, they turned to capturing the undead (and various other supernatural creatures) for sale.

Why it should be revived: If it’s not already clear, it’s unlike anything you've ever seen. It’s part zombie movie, part crime horror and part black comedy. It’s beautifully stylized; it’s dark, detailed and creepy. It’s silly and slapstick, bordering on over-the-top if not for the actors who fully commit and make it convincing. The score is fittingly a combination of whimsical and creepy (think The Addams Family meets The Nightmare Before Christmas). But this film definitely isn’t for everyone. It’s only for the slightly offbeat horror fanatics. (So in other words, all of you who are just like us.)

The Filles Take TIFF!: Friends With Kids

Photo: Lionsgate

Starring Jennifer Westfeldt, Kristen Wiig, Megan Fox, Jon Hamm, Maya Rudolph and Adam Scott. Directed by Jennifer Westfeldt. 100 minutes. 14A

If you get one thing out of Friends With Kids, it’s that Bridesmaids was much more than just a great ensemble cast.

You see, Jennifer Westfeldt’s directing debut (you may know her as the star of Kissing Jessica Stein), features the majority of the main cast of that surprise hit of a rom-com (Kristen Wiig, Chris O’Dowd, Maya Rudolph and of course, Westfeldt’s long-time bf, Jon Hamm). And yet, it can’t even begin to live up to it in laughs and or sincerity.

Friends With Kids is like a toddler you’re forced to babysit for your pseudo-bud from work. It’s fine at first, pretty easy-going and even entertaining, but after about an hour, the little one starts to get grating and you start to get stupid bored. You really wish you things would start looking up for you and the kid—or rather, you and this well-meaning, yet meandering movie—but in truth, you just want get home and jump back in your non blankie-infested bed.

The concept of the film is slightly original, or at least a tad different for the current chick flick climate. Instead of focusing simply on a desperate single gal with a ticking clock, Friends With Kids follows two opposite sex BFFs (Westfeldt and Parks and Recreation’s always adorable Adam Scott) who decide to have a kid together because, well, they really want one (and all their friends have already done it—and totally changed). It all gets off on a perfectly platonic foot, with Mama and Papa still happily dating other peeps post-placenta. But things get tricky (or to continue with the metaphor, trippy?) when one of them develops more than faux-familial feelings for the other.

The story may ring true for many modern families, but as a movie, it comes across weirdly false and hopelessly predictable. It’s not Westfeldt or Scott’s fault (they have a sweet, sweet chemistry) but rather, the overly glossy cinematography and juvenile jokes. Okay, so maybe it is a bit of Westfeldt’s fault. (Sorry, Mrs. Draper!)

The problem with Friends With Kids is that it’s decidedly indecisive, forever unsure what side of rom-com it stands on. Sometimes this can work (see: Bridesmaids), but only if the flick maintains the back-and-forth and never officially commits to either side. The first twenty minutes of Friends may be really funny in a frank, adult way, but the second half is purely kids stuff: corny, skittish and poop joke-filled.  C