The Cabin in the Woods

Photo: Diyah Pera / Lionsgate

Generally, when horror fans hear the phrase “cabin in the woods,” they either get psyched, prepping themselves for a fun, forested fuck n’ filet fest orchestrated by a hack-happy maniac/ill-explained demonic force/crew of inbred bastards, or roll their eyes in absolute abhorrence. Joss Whedon (Buffy, Firefly, the new Avengers) and Drew Goddard (Cloverfield) may have finally found a way to forge a disturbing peace between the two camps with their new film, The Cabin in the Woods.

The “Oversexed kids go on a weekend getaway to get off, but end up getting offed!” genre has be hacked to pieces over the last 30 years, thanks to bad sequels (paging Mrs. Voorhees and son!), remakes (see: the new Evil Dead reboot) and low budget/high gore indies (Hatchet). If you take The Cabin in the Woods for its spoiler-free plot summary—a group of college students (Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchinson, Jesse Williams, Fran Kranz and Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth) head to a you-know-what for the weekend and killer chaos ensures!—it sounds like yet another stale addition to the genre. In truth, it’s a substantial, subversively sexy smoochie to those who know those films like Billy Loomis got to know Casey’s insides.

The Cabin the Woods feels like a cool cousin to the Scream series. It targets our expectations of it
(and all other films like it), like flesh-eating disease, embodying them only to slaughter them (lovingly) from within. I won’t get too specific—no twist reveals here!—but this includes playfully eschewing the genre “rules” (who says virgins have to live?) and shucking off the scary for the howlingly hilarious in under two seconds.

I’m sure Cabin will turn off Whedonverse virgins and horror comedy haters, those came for blood and boobs and no brains. They may be drawn in by the purposely broad characters, though. Kranz is infinitely likeable as Marty, the Shaggy-Xander hybrid of this doomed Scooby gang, Unfortunately, he loses too much screen time to Connolly’s supposed survivor girl and Velma-Willow, Dana. Aside from Richard Jenkins (Let Me In) and Bradley Whitford (TV’s The West Wing), who play a pair possible villains, the acting in the film isn’t anything to write home on Crystal Lake stationary about. But that may have been intentional...

What Cabin ought to be applauded for is its script, a product of well-researched originality, genuine passion and fanboyish wit which picks up where Buffy left off (at times, it even seems like the alternate ending for Season 4). The quippy dialogue and clever twists cut like a freshly-sharpened butcher knife, gnawing away at the best and worst parts of the current horror climate and hitting bones struck (but not severed) by last year’s Scream 4.

For that alone, this Cabin deserves a spot next to the underrated straight-to-DVD masterpiece Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon in the modern slasher satire trophy case. Or at least one visit. A

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchinson, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford. Directed by Drew Goddard. 96 minutes. 18A

The Fille Files (April 8 - 14)

REEL GREAT READS

• 'Django Unchained' synopsis explains Tarantino's latest for the spoiler-adverse (Slash Film) - Quentin has finally released some deets about his new flick, set to be released on Christmas Day and featuring Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz and Leo DiCaprio (as a slave owner!). Let's just say, it sounds off the chain.
• 'The Cabin the Woods' Gang: 10 Movies That Scare Us! (EW) - Joss Whedon and the cast of the much-anticipated, much hush-hyped flick talk about their creepiest moviegoing experiences, name-dropping some of our faves like Halloween and the original Thing. 
•  Who should direct 'Catching Fire'? (Women and Hollywood) - Since Hunger Games' director Gary Ross has decided not to stick around for the sequel, everyone seems to be taking a guess as to who they'll get to replace him. Like Women and Hollywood, we'd love to see Katniss from a female perspective.

Gimme Five!: Most-anticipated Horror Movies of 2012

Join us every other Sunday as we treat you to a handful of the best and worst movies, characters, scenes, lines and or other significant cinematic moments. At least in our opinion.

A few great gems aside, 2011 was a pretty crappy year for horror. It was more of a year for the marginally horror films, suspense thrillers like Straw Dogs and Red State, and sci-fi like The Thing and Apollo 18. Of course, it was also the year of Scream 4, Insidious and brilliant indie find Grave Encounters, but I draw the line there.

But this upcoming year seems like it'll make up for it all with its endless promising list of horror releases in store. I was seriously tempted to write "Gimmie Another Five" later just so I could squeeze in 10 picks, but I painstakingly cut it down to the five I really can't wait for.

WORLD WAR Z

Brad Pitt in a zombie movie? I used to think that Brad Pitt could choose no wrong when it comes to movies, and when he chose baseball movie Moneyball, I thought it was the beginning of the end. But I was so wrong. When I first heard of World War Z, I was tempted to think the same. But Moneyball convinced me that I will be wrong. (Release date: December 21)


PROMETHEUS

It's the prequel to Alien that we're told is not the prequel to Alien. And like its unofficial sequel, strong women Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron take the lead alongside Michael Fassbender and Guy Pearce. (Release date: June 8)


SINISTER

A true-crime novelist (Ethan Hawke) seeking inspiration stumbles upon a box of home videos of an entire family murdered in what is now his new home. But uncovering the murder isn't as "crime thriller" as you might suspect when the story becomes supernatural. (Release date: August 24 October 5)


THE CABIN IN THE WOODS

This movie looks like the outcome if you'd combined Friday the 13th and Cube: a horror sci-fi thriller set in a cabin in the woods inexplicably like a maze where our main characters are caught up in a mad chase. (Release date: April 13)


THE WOMAN IN BLACK

Ghosts in creaky, dusty old houses? That's my kind of horror. Because ghosts are real. Judging from the trailer, styling looks amazing, scares look haunting and Daniel Radcliffe seems like more than Harry Potter. (Release date: February 3)

Honourable mentions: The Innkeepers, The Apparition, The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes (possibly)