DVD Review: Hugo

Directed by Martin Scorsese. Starring Asa Butterfield, Chloë Grace Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Jude Law, Christopher Lee and Emily Mortimer. 126 minutes. PG

For a while, I didn't really know what Hugo was about. I knew it was a Scorsese movie, I was pretty sure it was kid-friendly and I kept hearing praise about its visuals. But when I heard that it was a movie about movies, I had to see it.

The eponymously-titled Hugo follows the story of a young orphan boy and his journey to finding a purpose. Set in Paris, Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is sent to live with his uncle after this father dies. His alcoholic uncle, who works fixing clocks in a train station, pulls Hugo out of school and sends him to work, also fixing clocks. While working full-time, Hugo's also continuing a project he'd begun with his father before he died, fixing an old, broken automaton, a robot of sorts. It's almost working, save for a heart-shaped key he needs to get it started. Hugo eventually runs into trouble with Georges Méliès (Ben Kingsley) who works in a toyshop in the station and befriends his goddaughter Isabelle (Chloë Grace Moretz), who joins him in uncovering a mystery greater than he ever expected. This movie is one of the most charming I've seen all year (actually, only in competition with the other France-set blockbusters of the year: Midnight in Paris and The Artist).

There's no way to talk about this movie without mentioning its stunning visuals. It's got a seamless, surreal blend of CGI and live action. Costumes are pay homage to their era though are still interestingly anachronistic. The sets are finely detailed and gorgeous to look at. It's just a beautiful movie. Even the peculiar films within the movie are fun to look at, reminiscent of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, though this time done right.

The cast is perfect. Butterfield and Moretz are sweet, naive and innocent. The ageless Kingsley (can you believe Gandhi was 30 years ago?!) is more than convincing, whether playing the grumpy, old toyshop owner or his young self, the excited, exuberant filmmaker. However, the most surprising performance comes from Sacha Baron Cohen as the stern station inspector always on Hugo's tail for loitering around. I'm a big Cohen fan and I think that he's brilliant, so it's even more impressive to see him a role that doesn't require him to be one of his absurd politcally-challenging characters and still be funny and captivating.

If I haven't sold you yet, let me just say one more thing: cute dogs. As if Uggie in The Artist and Arthur in Beginners weren't doggy cuteness overload, there are several more in this film. Seriously, the two that become friends in the station, so cute.

Believe me, none of what I'm saying is because of Hugo's Oscars sweep. I saw this movie and I fell in love. It's just so magical. A+

Stay Classy: The Year Without a Santa Claus

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. In Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

Year released: 1974

How it fared back then: It fared just as it was expected to. It was a stop-motion TV special from the Rankin/Bass production company that had already brought us the children's Christmas classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus is Coming to Town, among a few others (plus more that would follow). It premiered and stuck. What more could they have asked for?

Why it's lasted: Thirty-seven years later, it's still on TV annually, though maybe less so than in the past. It seems like those who grew up with it continue to praise it but younger generations haven't heard of it. While Rudolph, Frosty and Santa Claus is Coming to Town show up every year on basic cable, The Year Without a Santa Claus needs a bit of tracking down. That being said, it's still got that classic quality: a heart-warming story about restoring Christmas cheer. And, claymation plus Santa Claus is a symbol of the season in itself.

Classic moment: Snow Miser's song and dance, followed by his step-bro Heat Miser's response song and dance. They make up only a fraction of the movie but their legacy has been ever-lasting, springing t-shirts, costumes and even a Batman & Robin reference from Mr. Freeze.

Does it still hold up? For the most part, yes. It's a cute and short story with some catchy songs (though I wouldn't mind a few being cut). I like it because it's got that retro Christmas feel that reminds me of the other Rankin/Bass classics I grew up with, but it's one of the ones that I hadn't seen.

Stay Classy: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. In Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

Year released: 1937

How it fared back then: It was the first feature film from Disney and it just exploded. Critics loved it, as did film-goers and industry bigwigs alike. With inflation taken into account, it's the 10th highest grossing film and the highest grossing animated film  at the box office of all time (inflation considered). And accounting for inflation, it also beats out Avatar. With such an overwhelmingly positive response, it put Disney on the track to what it would become today, leading to countless more film releases. It also set the precedent for the company's re-releases from the Vault.

Why it's lasted: Disney. Cynically speaking, we know what a powerhouse they are in the industry. That being said, they also make amazing movies with state-of-the-art animation and great music. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is no exception (and yes, you did hear "Heigh-Ho" in a commercial recently). It's also made seven of AFI's 100 Years lists!

Classic moment: When Snow White is sweeping, dusting and washing away in the house, singing to herself as animals fill the scene. That scene in its entirety defines her character and is the imagery of her set off when her name is mentioned today.


Does it still hold up? The dwarfs are cute, the story is compelling and the 30s are artistically evident though appreciable, but I do have feminist issues with it (which are obvious). Then again, most of these issues could also be taken up with any classic fairytale. One thing that's strange about this film is that it's a children's story with an adult protagonist, however with childish characteristics. It's very uncommon today (if you ask me, adults are just over-thinking it), but I'm not sure what to make of it, only to point out its peculiarity. It's an admirable, history-making movie, but it's not what we'd watch today, which is likely the reasoning behind much-needed updates Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror, Mirror. But of course, that's the grown-up in my speaking. Children might feel otherwise. (I sure did.)

The Lion King 3D

Starring Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, James Earl Jones, Nathan Lane and Rowan Atkinson. Directed by Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff. 89 minutes. G

Ever since this whole 3D craze exploded, I’ve hated it. I gave it a chance and the extra $3 per ticket has never been worth it. (Not even for Avatar.) On top of that, I’m not too crazy about The Lion King either. But I ended up seeing The Lion King 3D. And it was good. Really good.

Now, you probably know the story of the award-winning film (and if you don’t, our Guest Fille wrote about it last month), so that’s not what I’m going to talk about. I’m going to talk about it being in 3D.

3D has a rep for being a sleazy money-making ploy—because a lot of the time it is and we all know it—which is exactly what this film sounded like from the start. Disney decided to re-release the highest grossing 2D animated film in history in 3D for a two-week theatrical run, the month before it’s also to be re-released on Blu-ray and DVD. Combined with the fact that this film was, like I said, 2D, I imagined the 3D version to be like looking at layers of paper, like a cheap stage design on the set of the high school play. After reading much praise from the blogosphere of Beauty and the Beast 3D, I was a little more hopeful, though not completely convinced. I went into this film nearly dreading the hour and a half ahead. But I came out, shockingly, praising it.

As a review of Beauty and the Beast 3D highlighted, Beauty and the Beast worked so well in 3D thanks to the Computer Animation Production System (CAPS), which in short means that the film was already animated in layers. The Lion King was done the same way. With shrubbery in the foreground, the setting sun in the background and Simba in the centre, several scenes were so naturally suited to 3D. This is also where I take issue with a lot of the criticism of this film’s 3D version that say that 3D in no way improved the original Lion King. 3D actually enhances the original animation, not only in its overall look but also in recognition of the amazing work that Disney put into this film from the start.

As cliché as it sounds, sometimes I felt as I was actually sitting at the edge of that stream, or that I could reach out and touch a bird soaring above the savannah. Isn’t that exactly what 3D is supposed to do? Yet I’ve never felt that with a 3D film until now.

I’ve seen this film countless times but 3D brings a freshness to this 17-year-old film that re-releasing it in 2D alone could not. And like others who have praised, it’s also reaching a new audience, modernizing a classic and bringing nostalgia to those that grew up with it.

Anyway, I’m up late on a night before an early class after an already exhausting day because this film is only in theatres for one more week. And you really need to see it. A

Don't You Forget About: The Lion King

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.

Photo: impawards.com

THE LION KING


BY: Guest Fille, Marissa Medford


WHAT it's about: It's Hamlet for kids. When lion cub Simba is born, he takes the spot for next-in-line to the throne from his jealous uncle Scar. As the king-in-training grows up, he becomes more and more excited about his future as ruler of Pride Rock. He even sings a song about it. However, Scar devises a sneaky scheme to kill Simba's father Mufasa and frame the cub for the murder. Simba falls for it and runs away, leaving Scar to become dictator and king of Pride Rock.

WHO'S in it: It features the voices of an all-star cast: Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons, Nathan Lane, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopi Goldberg, Cheech Marin, Jim Cummings.

WHEN it came out: 1994.

HOW come you haven't heard of (or just seen) it before: When the film first came out, it was a massive box office hit. Seventeen years later, you'd be lucky to find it at your local rental store. Plus, it's locked in the Disney vault. Although parents might remember it, this generation is missing out on the soon-to-be classic.

WHY you need to watch it - immediately!...

Stay Classy: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Maybe you’ve never heard of it. Maybe you’ve always wanted to see it. Or maybe you’re just tired of the new. Whatever your reason, the classics are always worth a nod. In Stay Classy, we look some of the films that started it all and how they hold up today. So sit back while we reel through the past.

WILLY WONKA & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY 

Year released: 1971

How it fared back then: In terms of audience turnout, the film did fairly. It did even better as far as critical reception. As Ebert put it, "It provides a first-rate cast (Gene Wilder as the compulsively distrustful chocolate manufacturer, Jack Albertson as the game old grandfather), a first-rate production, and--I keep coming back to this--genuine imagination." And even more well-deserved praise went to Wilder with his Golden Globe nom for the role.

Why it's lasted: It's a childhood (and sweets-lover) fantasy come true. Have you ever stopped dreaming of the three-course-dinner gum? But this film is actually more revered as a cult classic. It's been parodied by pop culture countless times (see: Futurama, Family Guy, Dexter's Laboratory, My Name is Earl, Chuck, SNL... need I really go on?). And while it's often mocked at expense of its silliness, it's almost as frequently noted for it's creepiness. There's just something surreal and sinister about it all.

Classic moment: Can I say every Oompa Loompa song? "Oompa Loopma doompadee doo, I've got another puzzle for you..." Even if you haven't seen it (and I doubt that), you've heard a rendition of this song and likely seen the bobbing orange-faced Oompas as they chanted it.

Does it still hold up? The cast recently reunited on the Today show as the film nears it's fortieth anniversary (in two weeks), but an anniversary DVD hasn't been promised. I mean, the film still airs on television sometimes, but since 2005, Willy Wonka conjures up a far less spectacular, far less commendable version of the story (hint: Johnny Depp and false teeth). Perhaps this film is better left in the memories of its selected true fans.

DVD: Gnomeo & Juliet

Photo: Amazon.ca

Starring James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine and Ozzy Osbourne. Directed by Kelly Asbury. 84 minutes. G

Why garden gnomes? Seriously. Why? Do children have affections for them like they do cuddly bunnies and silly monkeys? Do they even know what they are? Maybe it's just an attempt at dual address, using "quirky" gnomes to pull in parents. But even then, fondness for gnomes is kind of overrated, if you ask me. They're just ugly and dirty and creepy.

But I guess some people out there think the little guys are cute, because they're the stars of this Romeo and Juliet adaptation for children. The story is basically the same, except that the rival yard-dwellers are colour-coded: red vs. blue (no, not that red vs. blue, Halo fans). And everything is translated into lawn language, ie. vehicles are lawn mowers. There's also the element of Toy Story-esque magic: inanimate garden gnomes come to life and lead dramatic lives when people aren't around.

What persuaded me that this film might be alright was the Elton John soundtrack. But after seeing the film, I just feel scammed by advertising. I love Elton John's music and I expected a couple original songs, not his hits recycled and re-purposed, and barely even that. Honestly, if this is the only compelling aspect you see in this film (and it was for me), just re-listen to his greatest hits CDs.

As far as the plot is concerned, we all know how it goes, and this film throws no twists toward the older viewers. Furthermore, there's a complete lack of passion in the titular duo's romance. Yes, it's family film, but like I said, it's clearly an attempt at dual address, and there's just not enough in it for the parents.

Laughs are also scarce. I enjoy jokes aimed at kids. I like silly and predictable children's humour. And with the grown-up gags falling flat, you'd think at least the kiddie fun would hold up. But you'd be wrong. C-

EXTRAS: Deleted scenes, alternate opening and endings.

Don't You Forget About: Dumbo

Sure, it's fun to catch the latest flick at the multiplex, or grab the newest release at a video store, but sometimes you just gotta say, "Out with the new, and in with the unknown." There are plenty of older flicks out there that are worth a rental, but never registered on your radar. In Don't You Forget About, we remember the long-gone gems, so you don't have to.

Photo: moviegoods.com

WHAT it's about: A little circus elephant who is teased by the older, grouchy, snotty elephants. And by older, I mean his mother's age. Terrible, right? But he finds support in befriending a cheery little mouse, who helps lead him to discovering he's actually pretty darn talented.

WHO'S in it: Umm... Well, the titular character doesn't have a voice. But Timothy, the mouse, is voiced by Edward Brophy, who starred in the Oscar-winning 1931 film The Champ. He also appeared in The Thin Man, a film that stretched five sequels and made Ebert's Great Movies. But honestly, this is not a film you'll be drawn to for the actors (or voices) at all.

WHEN it came out: October 1941.

HOW come you haven't heard of (or just seen) it before: Because it's pretty much been forgotten. Although it originally won an Oscar and was nominated for another, as well as picked up another at Cannes, and had then (and still) been highly revered, for some reason, it still doesn't make the Disney must-have list. Would you opt for Dumbo over Bambi? Pinocchio? Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? Probably not. But you should.

WHY you need to watch it - immediately!...

12 Days of Festive Faves: It's a Wonderful Life

 

Image: amazon.ca

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)

THE GIST: It's Christmas Eve and George Bailey (James Stewart) isn't very happy with his life. He's in financial trouble with a job he never wanted in the first place. He's sacrificed his own happiness to make others happy. He can't take it anymore and he's ready to take his life. But with Heaven watching, a guardian angel is sent down to stop him. Though before the angel can stop George, the angel needs to find out a bit more about the man he's trying to save.

NAUGHTY OR NICE: A bit of both. It's nice in the sense that it gets at a much deeper meaning to Christmas, though takes a bit of a dark, albeit realistic, route to get there.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: This film is the ultimate Christmas classic. If you have any feeling for the season, you need to see this.

MAGIC MOMENT: The scene when George and Mary Hatch (Donna Reed) fall in love on George's brother's graduation night, walking home in the only clothes they could find after falling into the high school pool. It's so real, it's so charming.

SANTA SIGHTING: No Santa, but a few starry angels.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing." Not only is this the song George's daughter constantly plays leading up the film's climax, but it's obviously got metaphorical meaning to the film. And it too is a classic.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Those who countdown the days to Christmas on their calendars.

12 Days of Festive Faves: Elf

Photo: imdb.com

ELF (2003)

THE GIST: All his life, Buddy (Will Ferrell) thought he was an elf, despite being more the twice the size of the rest of the residents at the North Pole. That is, until one day he overhears two elves talking about him behind his back. Then Papa Elf (Bob Newhart) admits it: Buddy is human. He was adopted as a baby. But, although Buddy's real mother is no longer around, his dad (James Caan) lives just in New York, so Buddy sets off to find him, only to find out the hard way that the "real" world is nothing like home.

NAUGHTY OR NICE: Nice, but not in the corny true-meaning-of-Christmas kind of way. Instead, this flick pokes fun at the way we celebrate Christmas, only to raise the holiday spirit at the end.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: This film was an instant, modern holiday classic. It's hilarious and steers clear of most clichés. Aside from the gift-giving and turkey, it gives you something else to look forward to every season.

MAGIC MOMENT: OK, in the spirit of Christmas it should maybe be something else, but when Buddy joins Jovie (Zooey Deschanel) mid-song in the locker room, she tells him not to look at her and get out, so he covers his eyes and runs. Right into a wall of lockers.

SANTA SIGHTING: In one of the more cheesy moments of this flick, Santa Ed Asner makes his appearance and gets a crowd in Central Park singing a cheery carol to give his sleigh the power it needs to fly. Like I said, really cheesy.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Do Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel know that they make a pretty good singing duo?

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Anyone who refuses to grow up. Which is pretty much any Will Ferrell fan.

12 Days of Festive Faves: Jingle All the Way

Photo: Joblo.com

 

JINGLE ALL THE WAY (1996)

THE GIST: Before he took over Cali, the Governator decided to try his hand at conquering the X-mas movies circuit. Hence this guilty pleasure of a G-rated gift, which has Arnold doing whatever it takes to get his little boy the hot toy of the season (Turbo-Man!) - including constantly battling like-minded mailman (played by Sinbad, obviously), and Ferris Bueller-ing the local holiday parade!

NAUGHTY OR NICE?: Naughty. In the sense that it's a total stinker that really shouldn't exist. But does. And goes great with awful eggnog.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It's one of the genre's most easy-to-swallow slices of fruitcake. You know it's awful, but you kind of can't resist it. 

MAGIC MOMENT: Arnold literally becomes Turbo-Man at one point. Florescent orange ski mask and faux-tin burgundy body suit and all.
 
SANTA SIGHTING!: James Belushi  - as a Mall of America Santa who makes toy knock-offs in his off hours! I am dead serious.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: "Jingle Bells." I mean, duh.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Your friend with the worst taste. (I'll love it!)

12 Days of Festive Faves: The Muppet Christmas Carol

Photo: imdb.com

THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL (1992)

THE GIST: If you don't know the Dickens story, here's a quick rundown: Ebenezer Scrooge hates Christmas. Everyone hates Scrooge. But one night, the ghost of his former employer comes to him and tells him that he needs to change his ways, as he was once as rotten and stingy as Scrooge and now pays for it beyond the grave. So Scrooge is visited by three ghosts who show him Christmas of the past, present and future, attempting to change his heart. The story's been retold countless times. This time, with the furry, floppy, silly Muppets. And Michael Caine.

NAUGHTY OR NICE: So nice. Almost sure to tame any Scrooge, if you can get him to watch the film.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It's all about "the true meaning of Christmas," as corny as that may be. It's also perfect to watch with the fams; everyone has their favourite Muppet.

MAGIC MOMENT: Meeting Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit. You wait for it the entire film and yes, it's worth it. Plus, she's got two piggy daughters with Kermie and they're just as air-headed.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: Anything but a song from this film. Really. They're the only times this film will make you cringe.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Anyone who hasn't read the Dickens classic and doesn't plan on it. Much painless approach.

12 Days of Festive Faves: To Grandmother's House We Go

To Grandmother's House We Go (1992)

THE GIST: Two twin girls -  Sarah (Mary-Kate Olsen) and Julie (Ashley) - decide to run away from home and bike to Grandma's after they hear their single mama call them a "handful." But as they soon figure out, hitchhiking isn't easy -  and Granny isn't quite as close as they thought. So they enlist some help from a sorta-friendly delivery dude. But then his truck gets stolen by a pair of old-age bandits (Rhea Perlman and Jerry Van Dyke), who decide to put the girls up for ransom! It's basically "Green and Red Riding Hoods". Without all the weird gender-confused wolf stuff. And with a whole lot more neon pants.

NAUGHTY OR NICE?: Way nice. I mean, it's an early MK and A movie. Not one of Mary-Kate's current indie pet projects (where make-outs with middle-aged knights are a must). And it was made for TV.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It might not have the same effect on older generations - but for anyone who grew up with the Olsens, it's an awesome reminder of our earliest Christmases -  when neon pastel snowsuits were THE COOLEST (or is was it the hottest?), scrunchies were WAY en vogue and Full House was everywhere you looked - and you liked it. (See next item!)

MAGIC MOMENT: Danny Tanner and Aunt Becky make cameos. Need I say more?

SANTA SIGHTING!: Unless you count the bandits - who creepily claim to be "Santa's Elves." EWW.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: Any song from THIS.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: The 90s kid in your fam. If you can find it on DVD!

12 Days of Festive Faves: How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Photo: amazon.ca

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS! (1966)

THE GIST: Above the sweet little town of Whoville full of Whos lives the Grinch at the top of Mt. Crumpit, a crooked cliff of a residence. On Christmas Even, the wicked, green grump decides he's going to try to stop Christmas, because he's hated it for nearly forever. So, he decides to disguise himself as Santa and sneak down the chimney, not to deliver gifts, but to steal them, and the trees and stockings too, tugging his little dog Max along in reindeer antlers. But when Christmas morning comes anyway, the Grinch has, let's say, a change of heart.

NAUGHTY OR NICE: Well, isn't that the point of the film? Is the Grinch actually a naughty holiday-thief, or is he deep down under that green fur a sweetheart? OK, it's Dr. Seuss. Now, what rhymes with "nice"...?

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It's such a kiddie classic for all generations; it's almost sure to remind you of how magical Christmas seemed when you were in Grade 2.

MAGIC MOMENT: Could it be anything but bellow of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" as the Grinch nabs every candy cane and ornament in Whoville? No, it could not.

SANTA SIGHTING: Well, wide-eyed Cindy Lou Who's sighting of Santa, who is actually the rotten Christmas crook in disguise. He tells her an evil lie and sends her to bed. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: I've named it twice already.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: The sweetest little Cindy Lou Who you know.

12 Days of Festive Faves: Home Alone

Photo: imdb.com

HOME ALONE (1990)

THE GIST: Eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) is supposed to be in Paris with his huge family for Christmas. But instead, they forget him at home. Alone. Of course, that's just what he wanted all along - for his family to disappear. And when two crooks, or should I say "Wet Bandits," think the house is empty for the holidays and try to break in, Kevin thinks he can handle it on it his own and booby-traps the entire place. Meanwhile, his mom realizes partway through her flight that it's not that they forgot to close the garage door that's making her uneasy, it's her missing son.

NAUGHTY OR NICE?: Santa would say naughty. I mean, Kevin watches mobster flicks, eats ice cream for dinner and tells his mother after she's grounded him in the attic, "I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life!" But in reality, it's far more nice than naughty.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: What kid wouldn't love to live by his own rules for Christmas? Rummaging through his brother's things, eating junk all day, jumping on the bed. Haven't we all wanted that? Ah, the Christmas gift of ultimate freedom at an age when we most want to break the rules.

MAGIC MOMENT: The staged Christmas party, psyching out bandits Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern). When Kevin finds out he's being watched, he sets up a faux party scene behind his living room curtains and blares the Christmas music to trick the crooked duo into think everyone is still home. And it works. For a bit.

SANTA SIGHTING!: The Santa in this flick is actually unnerving. He's a wreath on the door that rattles when the wind howls, as the electricity flickers out and the full moon rises, while Kevin sleeps alone in the creepy attic. So not Christmas-y.

ACCOMPANYING CAROL: How could it not be the classic "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee, Kevin's song of choice for his fake party. It's not possible to hear the song and not be reminded of this film.

PERFECT PRESENT FOR: Your cousin Fuller. A bit nerdy, a bit goofy, but you know you love him.

Freaky Fortnight!: Halloweentown

 

Photo: amazon.ca

HALLOWEENTOWN (1998)

THE GIST: The Cromwell kids aren't allowed out for Halloween. They've never been allowed. Why not? That old parental excuse: "Just because." One Halloween, grandma comes to visit. To the kids, it's a surprise visit but later, Marnie (Kimberly J. Brown) overhears Grandma Aggie (Debbie Reynolds) telling Marnie's mom (Judith Hoag) that she's actually stopped by because if Marnie doesn't start her magic training before midnight on Halloween she'll lose her potential powers forever. That's right, Aggie and Marnie's mom are witches from Halloweentown; the kids are half-mortals. Marnie's mom refuses to let Marnie train. But Aggie has something else to ask her daughter: that she come back home. Something odd has been going on; people (and goblins and ghouls and the sort) have been disappearing and Aggie needs the help of another Cromwell to put an end to it. Marnie's mom refuses. But at night when Aggie leaves to catch her bus back home, Marnie, her brother and sister decide to follow... landing in Halloweentown and getting tangled up in the mysterious mess.

TRICK OR TREAT?: All-Disney, Family Channel treat, complete with happy ending.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: Aside from airing on the Family Channel every Halloween and becoming a tradition at my house (even though we're well past trick or treating age), Halloweentown brings out the Halloween you've always remembered as a child. Witches, vampires, werewolves, skeletons...

SCENE TO DIE FOR: The scene at the gym where the cat-woman aerobics instructor is teaching her class of hags and uglies. She's way too into it. And they're all way too hideous.

SUGGESTED SWEET: Candy corn. It's traditional. It's rare. It's corny (by name).

Freaky Fortnight!: It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Photo: Amazon.com

IT'S THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN (1996)

THE GIST: Charlie's BFF, Linus is convinced that every October 31, a Halloween-themed Santa Clause ("The Great Pumpkin") visits the most sincere pumpkin patch of all. Convinced that his patch is next on the Great One's hit list, he and his battered, blue blankie skip out on trick-or-treating (and a Snoopy-crashed Halloween party!) with Charlie and the gang to camp out and wait for him.

TRICK OR TREAT?: A classic treat - for all ages. Although it's inspired some more scandalous reenactments (see: "The Slutty Pumpkin").

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: On the spookiest night of the year, The Great Pumpkin and it's bittersweet genius can serve as a welcome security blanket. And quite frankly, by the end of the candy-filled festivities, you might as well call us Linus.

SCENE TO DIE FOR: When the gang compare their trick-or-treating booty. Sally, Pig-Pen, Patty and Lucy all end up with some seriously sweet treats. Charlie, however, just gets a bunch of rocks.

BEST COSTUME: Charlie's homemade ghost costume, which accidentally ended up with way-too-many eyes.

SUGGESTED SWEET: Anything pumpkin-themed will do - chocolates versions, gummies, cupacakes, lattes, even pie. But if it were up to me, I'd go with some of those store-bought Pilsbury pumpkin cookies. Like The Great Pumpkin, they come around just once a year and for some, totally-nostalgia-related reason, you can't seem to resist them.

Freaky Fortnight!: Ernest Scared Stupid

Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

THE GIST: Some odd years ago in the 19th century, a troll named Trantor terrorizes children, turning them into wooden dolls. As soon as he has five wooden children, he'd have the power to bring more trolls into the world. But just as he captures his fourth child, townspeople, led by Phineas Worrell (Jim Varney), put an end to the troll's hunt, burying him under an oak tree, only to be released by kin of Phineas may years later. Now in present day, Ernest P. Worrell (Jim Varney) unwittingly--as always--lets Trantor loose again, allowing him to return to his hunt for five children. It's up to Ernest to put an end to it before Trantor reaches his victim tally.

TRICK OR TREAT?: Treat. Unless you're scared of animatronic, slime-faced trolls.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: Ernest Scared Stupid brings out the silly in Halloween. It reminds us that the night isn't just about snagging bags of goodies, but it's also about cheap pranks and cheesy costumes. Bring on the plastic spiders and oh-so-realistic paper masks.

SCENE TO DIE FOR: As in most Ernest films, dorky montage of characters is most memorable. This time, Ernest gives his insanely illogical account of the battle of Botswana versus Ottoman, complete with Auntie Nelda, Bunny Worrell, an Ottoman and a string of others, complete with ridiculous accents and garb.

BEST COSTUME: Bunny Worrell, who in the midst of the Botswana-Ottoman account is concerned with drapes and the odor of fish in the air. (Although if you'd have a real case if you said it was Auntie Nelda.)

SUGGESTED SWEET: Double Bubble, because even when it's weeks stale and hard you'll still want that bubble gum taste, just like you'll bear the excess insanity of this film for the laughs. Plus, it comes with a goofy little comic.

Photo: amazon.ca

Freaky Fortnight: Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

 

Photo: Amazon.ca

 DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL AND TROUBLE (1993)

THE GIST: Years ago, two twin sisters named Agatha and Sophia (Cloris Leachman, in both roles) sought out what they thought was a magical moonstone. Agatha found it and, after growing up and becoming jealous of her Sophia's blossoming love life, used it to torture and trap her sister in a mirror for eternity. Many Halloweens later, Agatha and Sophia's great-nieces, Kelly and Lynn (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) skip out on trick or treating and set out to free Sofia - and help their parents (one of which is Eric McCormack!) get out of debt (as if you didn't know they were wholly wholesome)  - with the help of a very special wand, an overly pale grave digger, a clown and a hobo named Mr. N. Seriously.  

TRICK OR TREAT?: Treat and a half. Well,  once you get past the fact that the twins'  become BFFs with the most uncomfortably friendly grown men in the world. But really, the scariest part of this badly bewitching TV movie is the recession-themed subplot. I mean, if MK and A couldn't escape it in the Full House years, how will anyone of us?

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: It's like free chocolate for old school MK and A fans like us,  guaranteed to take you back to the days when Mary-Kate's only vices were too-short bangs and non-nose candy. But even if didn't RSVP'd to every one of the Olsen's straight-to-DVD theme parties (how rude!), this flick, which takes it title from a line in the Scottish Shakespeare play (!), will definitely make you feel that first-candy-of-the-night pre-teen sugar rush.  It's just too sweet to resist.

SCENE TO DIE FOR: When Kelly, Lynn and Mama Farmer make Sophia's favourite cookies - cinnamon. Just try not to salivate when you see them get dished out, right from the oven.. Also awesome: the endless twin-themed puns, the awkwardly precocious banter between MK and A, which includes a whole lot of obvious references to Wayne's World and Sally Jesse Raphael.

BEST COSTUME:  Anything but Roland's - er, Oscar's - clown ensemble. Sorry, but those big red noses give us the creeps. And with good reason!

SUGGESTED SWEET: Twix - the troublesomely delicious doubles of the chocolate bar world.

Freaky Fortnight!: Monster House

Photo: amazon.com

MONSTER HOUSE (2006)

THE GIST: DJ (Mitchel Musso) lives across the street from old Mr. Nebbercracker (Steve Buscemi), the terrifying, wretched man who howls at anyone on his lawn and destroys little children's toys. One day, DJ's buddy Chowder's (Sam Lerner) new basketball bounces onto Nebbercracker's lawn and DJ goes to get it. Nebbercracker, with his eye on his yard at all times, comes out of his house and yells at DJ with furor. It's too much for old man and he works himself up so much that he's wheeled away by an ambulance. But even with Nebbercracker gone, the house seems to be terrorizing on its own, swallowing people, animals and toys whole. And of course, none of it happens when the 'rents are around.

TRICK OR TREAT?: It's a trick for the little ones who are always bugging parents to watch something scary, but a treat for those of us over the age of six.

WHY IT GETS US IN THE SPIRIT: DJ and Chowder are at that age where they're wondering if they're too old to go trick-or-treating and it reminds us of how much fun Halloween used to be. I mean, don't you wish you could still dress up and collect free candy all night?

SCENE TO DIE FOR: Any scene with Officer Lester (Nick Cannon). I'm not actually a Nick Cannon fan but Officer Lester's expressions and idiocy are just hilarious.

BEST COSTUME: So it's not exactly a costume, but DJ's babysitter Zee's (Maggie Gyllenhaal) disguise as a goody two-shoes who sings along to Olivia Newton-John songs in the car is just great when we find out that she's actually a rebel who listens to metal.

SUGGESTED SWEET: Gummy bears. Just like trick-or-treating, you feel a little too old to be eating them.