You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD
DATE RELEASED: June 7, 2002
DATE WATCHED: March 31, 2012
WHY NOW? For a night in, there's not much releasing on DVD now that I haven't already seen or that I have any interest in watching, so I've been going through older movies that I've always wanted to watch but haven't had the chance to. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is always on TV but I never catch it in time.
WHY NOT THEN? As a young teen, I had no interest at all in a movie about a club of older women. What did I know about their issues? Their lives? Their experiences? Better yet, what did I care?
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
FOXY BROWN
DATE RELEASED: April 5, 1974
DATE WATCHED: March 9, 2012
WHY NOW? Because it was on Netflix and I've been listening to the Jackie Brown soundtrack way too much lately.
WHY NOT THEN? I was a whole lot of nothing. (I wasn't born unil '89).
EXPECTATIONS:
Pam Grier saying she is a "whole lotta woman."
Pam Grier being "a whole lotta woman."
Some superfly soundtrack tunes.
A large, drug dealer-themed revenge plot, very much in the same vein as Jackie Brown.
A lot of bright-coloured bellbottoms and crop tops.
WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT:
Pam Grier being a whole lotta badass.
Pam Grier's brother telling her that she's a "whole lotta woman."
A whole lotta icky, terribly dressed '70s male villains with rapey tendencies.
Multiple revenge plots, all with sweet, sweet over-the-top ends.
A scene revolving around a pickled penis.
A superfly score.
A slightly draggy intro, but one that ultimately sets up the rest of the film.
An overwhelming desire to feather my hair and wear extremely flared jeans.
One of the best multicoloured, shadow dancing opening sequences ever.
ONE NIGHT-IN STAND OR SECOND DATE POTENTIAL? I'm not sure I'll be hanging with Foxy Brown as much as some late shift security women, but I'll definitely check it (and the movie that supposedly inspired it, Coffy) out again at some point. Even if it's just to.pick up on some sweet, colour blocking outfit combos and matching comebacks.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
CITY SLICKERS
DATE RELEASED: June 7, 1991
DATE WATCHED: February 25, 2012
WHY NOW? Likely in honour of Billy Crystal hosting the Oscars tomorrow night, it was on TV.
WHY NOT THEN? It's a pretty sad story actually. When I was younger, I'd make a neverending list of movies I wanted to watch. City Slickers was on that list. I'd scope out the local rental store and find as many as I could, but the variety was never great. My second resort was my family's old collection of VHSes from before my time. My third resort was TV. I'd check the weekly listings and see which movies were coming on that were on my list and either watch them or record them for later. I looked for years but I never found City Slickers. And then I forgot about it.
EXPECTATIONS:
A hilarious Billy Crystal. (The other thing I'd seen him in was Monsters, Inc., needless to say, which was years after my list.)
A non-western in a western setting: barren land and lots of horses. Well, what else?
That's it. Really. I don't even remember why City Slickers was originally on my list. I feel like I knew nothing about it.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: Paramount Pictures
MY BLOODY VALENTINE(1981)
DATE RELEASED: February 11, 1981 (U.S.) / February 13, 1981 (Canada)
DATE WATCHED: February 11, 2012
WHY NOW? With that day where all elementary school kids have to pretend to like each other in exchange for candy coming up, I have been craving some suitably-themed fare. This seemed like a natural choice, given the title and subject matter. (Also, I already watched my regular V-Day go-to, the 2001 David Boreanaz slasher, Valentine, two weeks ago. )
WHY NOT THEN? Unfortunately, I wasn't even an atom when this Canadian horror classic (shot in Sydney, Nova Scotia, yo!) was released. I was around for the 2010 remake though, and unlike many other reviewers, I found it to be frothy, fucked up fun.
EXPECTATIONS:
A plot pretty similar to the one in the recent 3D adaptation - a miner taking revenge on the people involved in a horrific underground accident a decade or so ago.
Said minor wearing his old-school mining outfit while killing not-so-innocent townspeople.
A hospital-set massacre of some kind.
A haunting, Prom Night-esque soundtrack. (It was done by the same composers.)
Lots of epic, V-Day-centric puns, used to describe the wholly unromantic events.
Some vaguely recognizable B-list Canadian actor that I have to IMDB in order to realize I don't actually know them or their generic name.
At least one literally ripped-out heart. And a whole bunch of other, totally apt and brutal kills.
Some super unflattering '80s sweaters worn by not-quite-good-looking, yet overdeveloped girls. Hipster flannels and Chuck Taylors on the just-mediocre guys.
At least some traditional, early slasher POV shooting. Perhaps with heavy breathing, made even heavier by the gas mask.
WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT...
A epically cheesy title card in which the Os in Bloody were replaced with animated hearts.
A highly suggestive opening sequence in which a yellow-teethed blonde fondled the hose of a gas mask (ewww) and then got a pick axe to the tattoo heart, which was conveniently located right above her actual heart.
So many ripped out aortas I lost count.
A town called - get this! - Valentines Bluffs.
Lots and lots of V-Day puns, found on valentines sent out to the killer's various soon-to-be victims.
A gas-masked villain named Harry Warden, supposedly traumatized from getting trapped in a mine with a pile of dead coworkers (and then having to eat them to survive!) 20 years back.
The dead-old-lady-in-a-dryer gag! And my 12-year-old self presumed that was an I Still Know What You Did Last Summer original!
Some terribly overwrought acting on the part of the wholly unrecognizable cast. That might sound like a criticism, but considering its a slasher movie, it was perfect as it took the already over-the-top story to a guilty pleasure precipice.
Some definite Nova Scotian accents. (Maritime pride!)
Tons of POV slasher shooting, complete with the gas mask breathing.
More chest hair than a Bee Gees concert in the 1970s.
A slightly too-long finale, with a sudden, ill-explained twist that no one could possibly see coming. Although, it was a lot better than the "He's got a split personality!" end of the remake.
ONE NIGHT-IN STAND OR SECOND DATE POTENTIAL? I see this as a once-a-year fling and possible third wheel to Valentine. I'll just have to keep any heart-shaped sweets at bay during our rendezvous.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
THE ITALIAN JOB(2003)
DATE RELEASED: May 30, 2003
DATE WATCHED: January 3, 2012
WHY NOW? Over my winter break, I watched a bunch of movies I'd always wanted to see. But The Italian Job wasn't on the list until my sister brought it up. So, I watched the trailer. It looked good. And not just good for an action movie. I mean really good.
WHY NOT THEN? For the most part, I wasn't into action movies. Truthfully, I'm still not really (unless it's Tarantino) but I give them a chance. The Italian Job wasn't even on my radar. I'd heard of it. I knew they'd named a ride after it at then-Paramount Canada's Wonderland (now the Backlot Stunt Coaster, as you ride in Mini Coopers through a tunnel. Lame!). But I don't even like roller coasters.
EXPECTATIONS: (pre-trailer viewing)
Too much action, and like I said, I don't like action. It's mostly the pace that throws me off, too much going on at once. Or conversely, too little going on and sharp, jolted shots trying to make up for it.
Little dialogue, a common action stereotype.
A "guy" movie. OK, don't get me wrong, I love Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, Superbad, and whole lot of other stereotypically "guy" movies. But for some reason (I think it's the timing my life, when guys and girls in my view were still so different), the masculinity of this movie just made me feel it wasn't for me.
Mark Wahlberg as his usual tough guy with a warped sense of righteousness.
Statham as his usual tight-lipped, I-think-I'm-so-cool tough guy.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: allmoviephoto.com
BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
DATE RELEASED: October 11, 1974
DATE WATCHED: November 2011
WHY NOW? As the Charlie Brown tune (and Royal Tenebaums soundtrack highlight) goes, Christmastime is here. And yet again, I feel like a horrible horror fangirl for never having seen this yuletide-themed slasher.
WHY NOT THEN? I wasn't even on my 15-year-old's mom's mind (and even if I was, she wouldn't have seen it anyway -- she hates everything horror). Then, after I was born and old enough to choose my own movies at the videostore, I could never get her or my dad to watch it with me. Meanwhile, they made me rewatch It's a Wonderful Life year after year after year after year ...
EXPECTATIONS
Classic, stalk-and-slash kills all done from inside a 1970s sorority house on Christmas Eve.
Cameos from Canadian stars that I recognize but couldn't name on command.
Lots of establishing shots of the University of Toronto campus.
The original Lois Lane successfully fending for herself, sans Superman.
Something to do with a dead girl in a rocking chair.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impawards.com
MONSTER
DATE RELEASED: December 17, 2003
DATE WATCHED: November 26, 2011
WHY NOW? My sister wanted to. So, seeing as Charlize Theron won an Academy Award, Golden Globe and SAG award for her performance in it, I said sure. Plus, it seems like she's got a big year ahead with Young Adult out this Friday, and Snow White & the Huntsman and Prometheus on the way.
WHY NOT THEN? I remember all the talk about her make-up "transformation," from the glamourous red carpet gal to a homeless prostitute (much like they talked about Nicole Kidman's nose in The Hours, which I also haven't seen). But as a young teen, a drama about a hooker-turned-serial killer was just too much drama for me. I was watching X2 and Dreamcatcher and Kill Bill instead. (I also missed another brilliant drama, Cold Mountain, that year too.)
EXPECTATIONS:
Charlize as the best I've ever seen her. (Mind you, I haven't seen her in much. But I have seen The Cider House Rules.)
Slow drama that builds into intense moments, but for the most part, crawls along.
A disturbing, true story.
Not much else. After all, it took eight years to convince me to see it.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impaawards.com
THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN
DATE RELEASED: July 13, 1984
DATE WATCHED: November 26, 2011
WHY NOW? After seeing and falling head over heels for The Muppets, I decided to revisit some of the old school Kermit and co. stuff. And I realized that I've never actually seen this movie! And yet, I definitely saw Muppets in Space in theatres. For shame!
WHY NOT THEN? It came out five years too early for this 1989-er. And despite being a big fan of Kermie and Muppet Babies, I just never got around to it later on.
EXPECTATIONS:
Lots of original songs and dancing.
Some sort of Broadway-style Muppet show.
A trip to the Empire State Building and multiple stops at hot dog carts.
A Liza Minnelli cameo.
A whole host of other 1980s celebs appearing at random for 30 seconds.
Kermit being his typical, adorable, everyman leader self, trying to reel in his puppet pals' and save the day, again.
You know when someone asks if you’ve seen their favourite movie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why every other week, we’ve vowed to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impawards.com
LAND OF THE DEAD
DATE RELEASED: June 24, 2005
DATE WATCHED: October 22, 2011
WHY NOW?The Walking Dead had just returned and with Halloween nearing, a lot of people were talking about horror movies. Two things you should know about me, I love horror and I love zombies. Like most other horror buffs, I enjoy a Romero film every so often, but with nine "...of the Dead" titles (including remakes), I haven't seen them all. But when one day, conversation brought up zombies mindlessly tearing through flesh in Land of the Dead (well, what else would they be doing), I was interested. After some research (ie. Rotten Tomatoes), I found that the reviews for it were just as praising as reviews for the Dawn of the Dead remake (which was pretty great). Clearly, I had to watch it.
WHY NOT THEN? It just slipped my radar.
EXPECTATIONS:
Swarms of mindless, rabid zombies ravaging toward a handful of survivors
You know when you’re talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you’ve seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen “parts of it” because you don’t want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That’s why we’re vowing to watch at least one movie we’ve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about every other week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impaawards.com
THE COTTAGE
DATE RELEASED: March 14, 2008 (U.K.), April 29, 2008 (direct-to-DVD U.S.)
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED:October 22, 2011
WHY NOW? Keeping with this month’s theme of Forgotten Frights, I asked readers for their recommendations. Although I’m not so into comedy-horrors, this one seemed to take horror seriously enough, embracing gore and the gritty, desolate setting.
WHY NOT THEN? Besides being a “forgotten” horror, it’s also a Brit movie, sending it even further off my radar. On top of that, it wasn’t even released in theatres in North America, instead going straight to DVD.
EXPECTATIONS:
A lot of blunt gore.
Not too much of a story.
Intense chase scenes.
Andy Serkis proving that he is a worthwhile actor beyond CGI-ed characters.
Not laugh-out-loud funny, but snicker funny.
The perfect horror setting, a cottage lost deep in the thick woods, with creaky floorboards, cobwebbed corners and dusty surfaces.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impaawards.com
THE THING
DATE RELEASED: June 25, 1982
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED:October 8, 2011
WHY NOW? The scene-for-scene remake—er, prequel?—of this cult classic (which follows a research team in Antarctica who have to turn against one another when an alien starts inhabiting their bodies) comes out next Friday and I want to be able to critique it with the best of the sci-fi horror nerds and John Carpenter connoisseurs.
WHY NOT THEN? It came out seven years before I was born.
EXPECTATIONS:
Kurt Russell, being extraterrestrially badass.
Lots of gnarly, pre-CGI make-up that puts modern stuff to shame.
Gorgeous snow-bank cinematography.
An overwhelming, heart-freezing ending.
Basically 30 Days of Night, minus the vamps, plus a body-snatching alien.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impaawards.com
FROST/NIXON
DATE RELEASED: December 25, 2008
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: September 3, 2011
WHY NOW?: It's been on my "to watch" list since it was nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars (and four others). So, when my sister suggested it last Saturday, I more than easily agreed.
WHY NOT THEN?: Back then, I didn't make it a point to see all the Best Pic noms. So, considering I'd already seen the (overrated) winner Slumdog Millionaire, plus Milk and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (either of which should have overtaken Slumdog), I wasn't too keen on seeing Frost/Nixon right away. Plus, it was political, and to be honest, politics are just confusing to me. But after studying Woodstein, the duo of Woodward and Bernstein who cracked Watergate at The Washington Post, I felt ready to take it on.
EXPECTATIONS:
Hard-hitting, though sensationalized, journalism.
Intense stare downs. (Come on, you've seen the trailer.)
Frank Langella convincingly as Richard Nixon, with the Oscar nom and all.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impaawards.com
A DIRTY SHAME
DATE RELEASED: September 25, 2004
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: Sometime in June 2011 (it was during my wisdom teeth recovery, which seems like a giant, time suck of a blur)
WHY NOW?: Since I am a cult and camp fangirl, I am a fascinated by the fucked up film stylings of John Waters. (You know him as the man who coiffed the original Hairspray.) And since Mr. Waters is going to be in my hometown (Toronto) later this month for the FanExpo (including a stop at the Toronto Underground Cinema for a one-man show!), I thought I would attempt to watch all of his films I have yet to see. This NC-17-rated comedy, about a prude suburban mom/convenience store employee who becomes a nympho after getting a concussion, was first on my list.
WHY NOT THEN?: Well, first and foremost, I really couldn't. I was 14 at the time and it was rated 18A here in Canada, which meant I couldn't see it without a parent or some other adult. And considering the blatant sexual content and American rating, there was no way in hell I was going with my mom or dad. But also, I wasn't really sure I was ready. Like the main character, pre-sexual revelation, I was a bit shy about sexy times and was afraid that it might be too much for me.
EXPECTATIONS:
Tracey Ullman being over-the-top awesome.
Selma Blair wearing the biggest fake boobs ever created.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: movieposter.com
GHOST WORLD
DATE RELEASED: July 20, 2001
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: July 25, 2011
WHY NOW?: After following Comic-Con all weekend, my mind was on comics (and other very cool related things). And as I've said before, I don't really read comics (unless my school readings force me to read Maus and Palestine). But as a follower of Comic-Con (for films and TV shows mostly), I completely understand the awesomeness of comics and can't figure out why I haven't read them. So I decided, I'll venture into that world. And my choice starting point: Ghost World by Daniel Clowes. Why? It reminds me of one of my favourite shows, Daria, and my own teenage life (ha). But for now, I'll start with the film.
WHY NOT THEN?: I wanted to see it. But then when my then-BFF saw it, her verdict wasn't that great. And seeing as we shared so many of the same favourites, I considered it a well-advised warning to stay away. Since then, though, I haven't been able to avoid it's adoring reviews from Ebert to EW to Scott. "I wanted to hug this movie. It takes such a risky journey and never steps wrong. It creates specific, original, believable, lovable characters, and meanders with them through their inconsolable days, never losing its sense of humor," wrote Ebert. Don't tell me you can still resist it. (Plus, its the film's 10-year anniversary.)
EXPECTATIONS:
Small reflections of my own high school life.
Hilariously awkward moments.
Sarcastic, witty comments.
Satirization of teenagedom.
A need to get my hands on a copy of the comic ASAP.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: moviegoods.com
NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE
DATE RELEASED: December 14, 2001
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: July 13, 2011
WHY NOW?: While reading up on Captain America, I ended up on Chris Evans' IMDB page. And I realized this teen comedy satire was where he got his big break.
WHY NOT THEN?: Seeing as I was just becoming a teen at the time and had a serious penchant for the filmography of Freddie Prinze Jr. and co, I thought I might find it offensive. Also, I thought it looked incredibly dumb and not in an awesome way (See: Wayne's World 2, Deuce Bigalow, Undercover Brother).
EXPECTATIONS:
Chris Evans doing his best FPJ.
Parodies of She's All That, 10 Things I Hate About You, Can't Hardly Wait, Bring It On, American Pie and every other movie that defined my pre-adolescence.
"Little Grey" dressed up like a pre-red stain dress, slow stair walk makeover sequence Laney Boggs.
Hard rock covers of 1980s pop classics (i.e. "Don't You (Forget About Me)" from The Breakfast Club).
Boobs, dicks and fart jokes.
John Hughes nods GALORE...including a cameo from Principal Vernon!
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impawards.com
THE GOOD GIRL
DATE RELEASED: August 7, 2002
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: July 4, 2011
WHY NOW?: It's been on TV a lot lately (which seems to be becoming a very large factor lately in my reasoning for watching a film). Although I'd heard of the film, I decided to Google it for a bit more info. And for two main reasons, I decided to watch this film. The first, this film is supposedly the strongest point in Jennifer Aniston's career. Partly convinced by the rumoured but untraceable Empire Magazine quote: "Aniston may not have received her much-touted Oscar nomination, but this brilliantly funny and often touching film should assure her a solid post-Friends career," when I tracked down the mag's review, I couldn't find this quote but instead found: "If initially one scoffs at cute Rachel, I mean, Aniston playing a straggle-haired cashier at a tacky discount store, she brings you around smartish with her emotional but reflective performance." So rumour or no rumour, this sounds just like what I need after what I said about her in my Just Go With It review. The second reason I needed to watch this film was its connection to one of my favourite books ever, The Catcher in the Rye. Jake Gyllenhaal's character is Holden. Enough said.
WHY NOT THEN?: Well, at 13 years old, I wasn't very much into adult black-comedy indies. Nor did I have any clue who the cast was, except for Aniston who I knew as the actress from that show that was always on TV (but later, I would become a Friends fan). Also, to my young tastes, it looked boring. Does Aniston not look bored out of her mind on the poster? I rest my case.
EXPECTATIONS:
Jennifer Aniston at the absolute best in her entire career. Yes, I know it's a lot to live up to, but this is what I've heard.
A cute and quirky Zooey Deschanel, as usual, but even funnier this time.
A transitional Jake Gyllenhaal on his way to hunk-dom. Not really sure what that means though. I guess I'll find out.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impawards.com
SHAUN OF THE DEAD
DATE RELEASED: September 24, 2004
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: June 24, 2011
WHY NOW?: Totally awful confession: I just got Netflix. Most people I've talked to hate it, saying that they have a shitty selection. And that's sort of true. But after week or so of watching Roswell, Community and all the John Waters movies they have, I'm sold. This was one of the only movies on my "List" that I hadn't actually watched before. And wasn't completely embarrassing. (Hey, it's not my fault that they really only seem to update their straight-to-DVD late 90s horror sequels!)
WHY NOT THEN?: I actually have no idea. Seeing as this is both a British slacker comedy and a zombie movie, you would have thought I would have been third in line (behind the Spaced fans) to see it. But for some reason, I never got around to it. Maybe my dad (a.k.a. my sole partner in awful/awesome horror/sci-fi movie gorging back in the day) wouldn't take me? Or perhaps I was just too wrapped up in Grade 9 scandals to care? Either way, this self-proclaimed Edgar Wright fan (So what if I've only seen Scott Pilgrim and Don't!?) is really embarrassed.
EXPECTATIONS:
Snappy, modern visuals and Wright-eous writing and editing.
Lots of creative, yet hilarious zombie killing. In the same vein as Zombieland. But without the gore. And Twinkies.
Simon Pegg being slacker adorable.
Some scene where Pegg and Nick Frost make an undead dude even more dead by accidentally pushing them into a garden tool (?).You know, the one they showed in Scream 4?
Deadpan awkward Brit-com goodness.
A bunch of stars I now know but wouldn't have even been able to name when it actually came out.
Falling in lesbians with it, adding it to my inner "Must List" and keeping it there, indefinitely.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: impawards.com
THE CIDER HOUSE RULES
DATE RELEASED: December 17, 1999
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: June 1, 2011
WHY NOW?: It was on TV a while ago. In separate rooms, my mom and sis coincidentally ended up catching bits of it and wanted to watch the whole thing. But they watched it without me. And then couldn't stop raving about it. And then my cousin chimed in. And I was so left out. But I got over it. Until recently. Lately, it's been unavoidable on TV and I couldn't help glimpsing spoilers while channel surfing. So I sat down and watched it through.
WHY NOT THEN?: I hadn't heard of it. I mean, aside from the fact that I was only 10. Maybe if I were a bit older and had any idea that the film received seven Oscar noms (and won two), I'd have made it a point to see. And besides that, I also wasn't a mega fan of anyone starring in the film.
EXPECTATIONS:
A seriously heart-warming drama.
Tobey Maguire at one of his all-time bests (because what can beat Pleasantville?).
Paul Rudd pulling it off as the serious guy in a serious film, rather than his usual serious guy in a comedy.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too—and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us every other Sunday as we recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: moviegoods.com
SHOWGIRLS
DATE RELEASED: September 22, 1995
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: May 29, 2011
WHY NOW? I've read and heard a lot about Showgirls over the years as it seems to top almost every best-of-the-worst list (and earned the most Razzie Award noms ever!). And as you may or may not know, bad movies are pretty much my bread and butter (See: Terribly Awesome!). But I never actually sat down to watch this particular cinematic disaster. So when new favourite Friends-ly sitcom, Happy Endings, built an extended joke around it a few weeks back, and I failed to get it, I decided it was time for us to be formally introduced.
WHY NOT THEN?: Ihave wanted to see Showgirls since I got my Mom's review of it back when it was first released: "Disgusting. Just disgusting." I mean, what could be more perversely intriguing? (Well, other than the fact that it starred Jessie Spano—known to non-Bayside Tigers as Elizabeth Berkley). If I had been at least 16 years old, when it came out, I would have been on it like Screech on Lisa in the pre-College Years. But alas, I was only 5. And thought showgirls were simply sparkly bikini-wearing beauty queens/back-up dancers.
EXPECTATIONS:
Jessie Spano in her birthday suit!
Jessie Spano in her birthday suit, making out with that that blonde-bitch-from-Pretty-in-Pink's brunette gym class BFF!
Trey MacDougal being a first-class asshole.
Las Vegas at its absolute flashiest. Pun intended.
Vaseline-chic cinematography. If you've seen at least one minute of my favourite show, RuPaul's Drag Race, you know what I'm talking about.
Something to do with an attempted staircase murder.
LOTS of excessive nudity.
LOTS of terrible dialogue.
LOTS of velvet, glitter, floral, neon and leopard.
A back story that is best described as Burlesque with private dancers.
You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favourite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us every other Sunday as we recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Photo: empiremovies.com
TROY
DATE RELEASED: May 14, 2004
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: May 6, 2011
WHY NOW?: I was talking to my boyfriend about how I really wanted to see a film like 300 again. You know, a really good, ancient-times war-epic. So, he suggested Troy, which I wasn't sure would actually be so great. For some reason I lumped it in the same category as Gladiator, which I haven't seen yet either thanks to stories of people falling asleep when watching it. But despite the little I actually knew about Troy, I trusted his judgement.
WHY NOT THEN?: I had not yet developed my love for epics. Yes, the Lord of the Rings trilogy (one of my favourite series ever) had only recently come to an end, but I wasn't yet sold on epics. Especially considering most are historical or mythical, areas I know only minimally about.
EXPECTATIONS: (Warning: I really knew very little about this film before watching it.)
A lot of gold and brown. People, places, structures. No, not just because of the poster, but also because of the golden, tanned, glossy-haired images of the poster boy, Brad Pitt, I'd seen associated with the film countless times.
Ruthless, righteous slaying of armies in glorious sweeps.
An Orlando Bloom with hints of Legolas, fresh off the LotR role.
